AITAH for telling a 44 yo man he should learn to be more respectful, to/take care of women/girls?
My husband told my daughter to take the dog outside to “go potty”. Seems simple right? Nothing wrong with teaching your kid a little responsibility. Many times though, I find it’s never as simple as it sounds. Tonight, my daughter (12) wanted me (her mother) to watch a hair tutorial of something she wants me to do with her hair, so I did.
During this time, my husband/her father yells to my daughter, “Take the f’ng dog outside!”. Now let me set the scene a little. It’s 10:00 in the evening, it’s 14 degrees outside, my daughter is already dressed for bed in sleep shorts, still a bit anxious about going outside alone in the dark at her age (he knows this) and very rudely yells to her, “Take the f’ng dog outside!”.
This man is 44 years old, still fully dressed, jeans on, hoodie on, is lying full body sprawled out on the living room couch, scrolling on his phone.
Maybe I’m “old school”, but AITAH for thinking there’s something wrong with this picture? I just don’t feel a father should expect his 12 yo daughter to be the one to go stand outside in freezing temperatures, in the dark by herself to take the dog out, while he lies inside warm and cozy. Growing up, my father would never had even considered sending me out in the cold so he didn’t have to.
Are there just no manners anymore? Do men just not want to respect/care for/protect women/girls anymore?
My initial reaction to the whole thing was complete shock. I became upset. I immediately stated, “No, I will take the dog out”. As I put my coat on, I called the dog over and said, “C’mon girl, us girls will get it done” My husband then yelled out, “F’ng Right yins can” as he still continued to lay and stare at his phone. (The tone was most definitely condescending)
While standing outside, shaking from the cold, his words started replaying on a continuous loop in my head. I went from being upset to being infuriated. When I came back inside, he could obviously tell I was irritated, which led to him being irritated that I had any sort of issue at all.
This made him angry to where he started making comments such as, “You have a problem?”, etc. Against my better judgment, I decided to be honest, which led to a huge fight. Many more hurtful things were said by him and I ended up removing myself from the room.
Yes, I believe girls/women can be and are independent, strong human beings that can do anything they put their minds to, but for me, with this specific situation, the whole thing just felt “wrong“.
When did it become commonplace for Men to think they’re “too good“ or “too above” taking care of women? or that women are just so undeserving of being given any amount of respect or compassion?
Are all men like this?
Is it just men from the Northern US? Have the roles between men and women become reversed? More and more, I see men expecting women to take care of them, be sensitive to their needs, do the hard labor or heavy lifting, etc.
I just want my daughter to have a father who shows her how a man is supposed to treat her. AITAH?
