Background: my (25f) husband (25m) is unemployed and has been for 3 years since he was fired due to poor attendance.I am the breadwinner but also do basically all the house chores besides the garbage and dishes – everything else has to be directed for him to do and it takes 1-2 weeks literally.
Yesterday when I got home from work I was like why is baby girls diaper so full when did you last change her??? And he says I just did it before you got home. (We have cameras all over our house because our sons autism we want to be sure we have eyes everywhere in the downstairs living area by the doors outside) so I scroll through the footage to find that he hadn’t changed her since THAT MORNING so she was in the same diaper from 10:50am until I got home at 3pm. He totally brushed me off about it and was basically insinuating I was being annoying by bringing it up. I had said that it was neglect and that taking care of her was HIS job just like I had MY job and that he severely dropped the ball he basically said I understand but what do you want me to do about it now and also said I was dramatic for saying it was neglectful ( keep in mind she also had a rash because there was poop in the diaper for idk how long)
I’ve never wanted to be that person that makes someone feel less then because I have a job and they don’t. while I was a SAHM when my son was under 1 due to medical issues between myself and my son he did that to me constantly. Meanwhile when I was staying at home i made it my personal mission to do all house and baby things because it was my job to do that.
Now I am working from 5:30 -3pm then taking care of both kids, making dinner, etc all while he plays video games (which he also does all day while at work) and I’m in charge of putting my son to bed- he has lots of trouble falling asleep so I don’t sleep until 1 or 2am. All I expect from him is to take care of the baby while I’m not home and he can’t even do that????
I am at my wits end which I’ve been very vocal about but he’s calling me dramatic for saying he’s being neglectful and saying I’m holding my job over his head. Am I the asshole here???
EDIT: I added a comment in response to everyone’s thoughts please reference that!
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