“AITA for posting my manager in a ‘are we dating the same guy?’ facebook group, resulting in him getting fired?”
I was working as a bartender, and I had become good friends with my general manager who was hired after me. I loved my job but left very abruptly, due to some things going on in my personal life. That manager and I remained good friends, and hung out quite often. I opened up to him about what was happening in my life and relationship.
I was at a very low, dark place in my life and he started asking me for nudes, offering to pay me for nudes, and pay me to come to his house. I felt like he was trying to take advantage of me at a vulnerable time when I needed friendship and support. I ended up blocking him and trying to just move on.
That’s until other women that worked with him started to come to me to share what harassment they were enduring from him. He was offering money and preferred shifts in exchange for nudes or dates. He even tried to ask a girl to have drinks with him and when she declined, he gave her fewer shifts at work. He was making all of the women at the restaurant uncomfortable and fear for their jobs.
We got together to collect everyone’s stories and experiences with him so we could plead with the owners (a husband and wife) to fire him. Nothing happened to the manager, and the harassment continued. From what I heard, the wife wanted to fire him, but the husband wanted to keep him on because other than the harassment, he was a good manager and had been good for their business overall.
This is when I decided to make an anonymous post to my local Facebook group “are we dating the same guy?” These groups serve as a way for women to find out if their dating partner is dating other women, but also serves as a platform for women to share warnings of men who have mistreated them. I posted his picture and wrote a warning to the women in our city about his actions as a restaurant manager.
It spread quickly and the owners fired him. But not only did he lose his job, but the owners knew this post would make it hard for him to find another job in our town, and advised him to move somewhere else.
He did in fact end up moving back to his hometown and found another restaurant management job there. All the women I had worked with questioned who made the anonymous post and I kept my silence. But I still wonder, AITA?
This is what people had to say to OP:
pmousebrown said:
Maybe the post should follow him to his new location if his behavior continues.
IngenuityFun8910 said:
NTA. None of this would have happened if he wasn’t a creep.
cassowary32 said:
NTA. It’s infuriating that other than harassing all the women that worked under him, he was still considered a “good manager”. WTF?? He should have been charged with harassment, he got off easy, no pun intended.
MonkeySkulls said:
why are you concerned if you are TA for getting him fired by using FB, when you had already went with your previous coworkers to the owners, trying to get him fired? you got the results you were after.
also, the dude is a predator. and a shit manager. and a bigger shit of a person. I don’t understand why you would be second guessing yourself or looking for validation for doing what is clearly the right thing to do.
