I (F21) have a partner (M22) whom I am currently living with; it was his birthday yesterday. We graduated from university in June, and of course he got an influx of people who he hasn’t really spoken to since graduation wishing him a happy birthday. One of those people is being a good friend of mine whom I have spoken to and hung out with since graduation.
We were talking about the people who have hit him up and reminiscing about our time in university, and then he stated that some had made him uncomfortable because they were obviously trying to be suggestive. I have a lot of trust in him, so I thought this was hilarious and was begging him to tell me who.
He said he didn’t want to tell me because it would upset me, and that’s when I started to raise my eyebrow. I left it in the moment because I didn’t want to start conflict on his birthday, but I brought it up today and said that he shouldn’t be hiding things from me. He eventually agreed to show me, and it was my good friend from university.
I’m going to try and keep this part short and not drag it out, but the message was literally copy and pasted: “happy birthday tobyyy ” (fake name but same format), to which he did not respond. I was extremely confused and asked him what exactly about this was ‘suggestive’. He said that elongating his name and the use of emojis was suggestive and clearly ‘flirtatious’. I looked at the message again and looked at him and said, ‘No, it’s not.’ He said that she was clearly ‘doing too much’ to grab his attention and asked how she even remembered it was his birthday. I told him that Snapchat reminds you of people’s birthdays (that’s what she texted him on) and the message was normal.
It then turned into a disagreement, and he then went on a whole rant explaining that I clearly don’t know how women communicate with guys they are trying to pursue and that I’m clearly choosing to be blinded because that’s my friend. To which I just responded, ‘I don’t appreciate you trying to paint my friend in that light, and I honestly think you are being a weirdo, the message isn’t suggestive.’ The conversation kind of ended, and he’s been avoiding me all day.
Am I just asking AITA for calling him a weirdo and kind of invalidating his feelings even though they are objectively based on nothing?
EDIT: im not going to lie the comments stating that he is attracted to her are significantly increasing my anxiety levels, she is objectively a very pretty girl and i never really thought about him in that light; also wanted to add they haven’t really had any interacting with each other without me being there, and if they have spoken to each other its usually something to do with me (eg. coordinating my birthday present or asking where i am)
