AITAH for “correcting” people when they give me their condolences
So my mom’s sister died last week. Someone I didn’t like and didn’t talk to for almost 20 years. It made zero difference to me. When I found out I shrugged and went back to what I was doing.
I’m not going to get into what she did to me because it would take too long but believe me I had my reasons. I went no contact the day I turned 18 and never looked back. I even told my mom to tell her family to keep me out of the obituary.
Well family friends/ friends of my mom have been reaching out to me to offer their sympathy/condolences.
The first few times I just said thanks but I’m fine and changed the subject.
I ran into someone grocery shopping who unfortunately knows I’m my mom’s kid. She said she was sorry about my aunt. I said thanks but I’m fine, we weren’t close and tried walking away.
She followed me when I was walking away and said “I know you guys had a rocky relationship, but you need to put that aside now and grieve take care of things. She was your aunt and she loved you. Deep down you know you should do the right thing.”
I stopped and turned and said “ok listen. I didn’t even talk to her for almost 20 years so I really, really don’t care. I don’t need condolences or sympathy or life advice. She wasn’t a good person, which is why she was in a nursing home to begin with and nobody visited her. Because she was a bad person and noone cares when bad people die. There isn’t even going to be a funeral. Because again nobody cares”. I walked away but heard her huff something about speaking ill of the dead.
When my uncle died I cared, when my grandma died I cared. Then I appreciated people reaching out. Now I want them to leave me alone. I’m not sad. I’m indifferent.
Apparently Ms. Nosey messaged my mom on Facebook and told her I went off on her in the grocery store about how much I hate my aunt.
I explained to my mom what actually happened. I also said I’m in my 30s people either need to accept my answer or leave me alone and not tattle to my mommy. My mom said I should just say thanks and go on with my life.
No. I don’t want people thinking I liked or cared about her.
Aitah
