AITA for wanting to move out of state without her?
I (I’m 23M and I’ve been dating my girlfriend (23F) for about two years. We both grew up and went to college in the Midwest and have basically never lived anywhere else. We both have solid jobs that could technically transfer somewhere else down the line.
Lately I’ve just felt stuck. I don’t know how else to describe it. I see the same people all the time, go to the same bars, same routines, same everything. All my college friends are here so I don’t really try to meet new people or branch out. I feel like I’m just coasting and getting way too comfortable.
I keep having this urge to move somewhere new (preferably somewhere warm) just to experience something different while I’m still young. It’s not that I hate where I live. I just feel like if I don’t try living somewhere else now, I never will. Long term I actually do want to end up back here and raise a family near both of our parents. This wouldn’t be forever. Just a few years to try something new.
The problem is my girlfriend doesn’t want to move right now. She’s really close with her family and doesn’t feel ready to leave. She says she’d be open to trying long distance for a bit and maybe moving later, but when we talk about it I can tell it hurts her. She’s said things like it feels like I’m choosing a random city over her, and that if we’re serious about a future we should be building it in the same place. She also worries long distance would slowly make us drift apart.
Now I’m feeling guilty. I love her and I do see a future with her. But I also feel like your early 20s are kind of the time you’re supposed to take risks like this. I don’t want to wake up at 35 and regret never leaving my hometown.
I’m also worried her family will think I’m not serious about her or that I’m unreliable if I move.
So AITA for wanting to go even if she’s not ready?
I feel torn because I love her and see a future with her, but I also don’t want to ignore this feeling and regret never leaving my home city. Part of me thinks your early 20s are exactly when you’re supposed to take risks like this. Another part of me wonders if prioritizing that over staying physically together makes me selfish.
So AITA for wanting to move even though she’s not ready to?a
