“AITA for locking my baby’s nursery so my husband’s JOBLESS brother can’t move into it?”

I (28F) am currently 32 weeks pregnant with my first child. Honestly, my pregnancy has been super exhausting, and the only thing keeping me sane was setting up the nursery, I spent months painting and getting it absolutely perfect.

My husband (30M) has a younger brother, let’s call him Ralph (24M). Ralph recently got evicted. Why? Because he straight up quit his job to become a full time streamer and didn’t make rent.

Yesterday, my husband came home and dropped a bomb. He said Ralph is moving in with us for a few months until he gets on his feet.

He didn’t ask me. He just told me.

We live in a small two bedroom house. The second bedroom is the nursery. I asked my husband where Ralph is supposed to sleep. He looked at me like I was crazy and said, the nursery, obviously. The baby will be in our room for the first 6 months anyway.

I lost it. I told him absolutely no way, I spent so much money and time on that room. Plus, Ralph is incredibly messy and smokes. I don’t want his stuff or his smell anywhere near my newborns clean clothes and crib.

My husband said I was being a selfish jerk and caring more about an empty room than his own flesh and blood. I didn’t want to risk Ralph moving his stuff in while I was out running errands today, so I went to the hardware store, installed a new lock on the nursery door, and took the only key with me.

Now my husband is furious, and my MIL is blowing up my phone saying I’m an evil, hormone crazed jerk for leaving family on the streets.

Am I the AH here?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

HideawayShortay

He can sleep on the couch or move in with mommy 👩

moon_kaelis

Right?? Why is the unborn baby the one expected to give up their space 😅 If MIL feels so strongly, Ralph can absolutely move in with her. The nursery isn’t a spare guest room, it’s literally for a baby that’s about to exist in a few weeks.

iwannasayyoucantmake

It’s not like he’s tied to a location since by choice, he doesn’t have employment. So he can move to mom’s house. You will take care of this the best you can and good luck. NTA.

If I was in your place, this would be the hill I’d die on. Younger, intentionally unemployed, smoker, now unhoused, addition to what is supposed to be your brand new family as it starts seems so intrusive. My nightmare.

No_View1956

Exactly. The nursery isn’t a bonus room sitting unused, it’s for a baby arriving in weeks. If MIL is that passionate about helping Ralph, her house is tight there. It’s wild that unborn child is somehow expected to be the flexible one here.

Viola-Swamp

No, he is not allowed in at all. Second and thirdhand smoke are carcinogens and contribute to lung diseases and other health problems. What kind of selfish jag brings that guy near his pregnant wife and newborn to contaminate their space?

How does anyone just announce a lazy jobless loser of a sibling is moving in with no discussion or warning, let alone when their wife is about to give birth? This is a two card situation. NTA.

PreparationPlus9735

Someone who smokes shouldn’t be around you or a newborn. NTA.

MIL can take him in.

Longjumping-Move-584 (OP)

Right! Its just basic safety. If he wants to smoke, he can stay somewhere else. My house, my rules for the baby.

Dachshundmom5

You are NTA however, you need to reconsider the AH you are married to. He didnt ask before dumping a unemployed loser into your home. He brought a known smoker in the home where his pregnant spouse and soon to be infant are. 2nd and 3rd hand smoke are really not good for either you or baby. You have a massive marriage problem.

Longjumping-Move-584 (OP)

Honestly, you are right and its been keeping me up at night. I tried telling him about the 3rd hand smoke but he just rolls his eyes and says i’m being overly sensitive bcoz of the pregnancy. I feel like i’m fighting this alone in my own house.

Opening-Sir-2504

I hope to god this is fake because it would be a cold day in hell before I let a deadbeat, adult man, move into my child’s nursery, months before giving birth and for the first few months of their life. It would also be a blizzard in hell when I don’t tell my husband, as a 32-week pregnant WIFE AND PARTNER, to GFH for even agreeing to it, period.

Not even if they talked to be about it. The answer is no. This is your home just as much as it is his and it is the most emotional and vulnerable time in your life. How dare your husband even act this way. If your in-laws care so much, they can take in the man-child. NOT YOUR PROBLEM. NTA.

BusinessLeather948

Honestly, I think you’re in the right here. You’re pregnant, you’ve been working hard on the nursery, and now your husband’s brother, who’s jobless and irresponsible, wants to move into that space? It sounds like a huge inconvenience and a health risk with all his habits. It’s understandable that you’re protecting the baby’s space.

Longjumping-Move-584 (OP)

Exactly! I felt like i was going crazy bcoz my husband keeps saying i’m being dramatic or mean. But i’ve worked so hard on this room and the thought of someone smoking or leaving trash near my baby’s things is just too much.

Solid_Assumption7160

NTA. Keep the nursery locked up and block your mother-in-law so she can’t call you. After things calm down you can unblock her …In the meantime, ask her if she is so worried about her lazy son, why cant she take care of him. You’re not his mommy…..She is. And tell your husband that if he don’t like it he can leave and move out and go get a place of his own with his brother.