Hello sorry if this post does not look right or has any errors. This is my first time posting on Reddit after seeing posts like these on other social media. I (28M) am planning to leave my wife (24F) tomorrow during my day off. I am going to pack my stuff and stay at a motel until I can afford an apartment.
I want to have the conversation in person but may move first and tell her in person in a safer environment. For context our relationship has not really been solid. At this moment we have been married for three years but have had lots of issues. Those mostly being physical and emotional abuse from her towards a me. We had to do long distance for portions or I would work in foreign countries while she would stay with me on vacation visas until her green card was approved.
I am from the USA while she is from Southeast Asia but we met while she worked and studied in the USA and married here before she had to return to her home country to finish her studies and contract. I don’t know what is acceptable for details in Reddit but for example if I told her no to something or upset her she would insult my appearance, how much money I was making even though she didn’t work after we were married, and repeatedly tell me to off myself. She would also ch*ke me, spit on me, hit me with things or threaten serious harm to me or herself. Now I am no saint I wasn’t great about getting gifts and I’m not a great cook but I never harmed her, almost never yelled, never cheated or anything like that. She is better at life skills than me although since we have been dating I’ve gotten much better at these things.
To kind of skip ahead the abuse stuff has happened our whole relationship but I care for her and worry what she will do if I’m not around. That being said I have paid for her to do many trips to other countries, holidays, clubbing, etc and can be relatively sure she did not cheat or anything on those trips I even helped her friends to with her and I make 40-50k a year. I did not go on most of those trips as I would be really broke in order to send her on them and would stay working while we LDR.
The man issues besides the abuse is that I know the baby is not mine. I accused her of cheating with a coworker who I let stay in my apartment a couple of times and she denied it. However once she became pregnant she eventually admitted that they had slept together more than once and the timeline lined up for her being pregnant and her and I had not had intimacy during that time.
The guy has since blocked her and called the cops when she tried to confront him about the pregnancy and no longer works at her job. It took her less than a month of being in the USA to cheat and do all that. During that time she also kept saying how little she thinks of me and wanting a divorce but since she got pregnant she has completely changed being much nicer and caring. That being said I feel very used and that I should have left earlier but when I brought it up she took all my money so I couldn’t leave and made serious threats about herself which is why I am concerned if I leave tomorrow what she might do. I think she won’t harm herself because she is attached to the pregnancy now and is about to leave for vacation for two weeks in her home country which I would’ve been going with her but now I won’t. I think it will be good because she will have the support of her family as I am leaving her five days before and when she comes back all my stuff will be gone. I changed my bank email and passwords because she has taken all my money in arguments before. She has access to all my social media and other info so I will probably have to delete it although she doesn’t know about Reddit. I wanted to get this off my chest because everyone thinks the baby is mine as she lied to my family about that and I feel so guilty to leave but I am unhappy anxious and think I should do this. Please let me know what you think and I’ll try to answer any questions if I can.
