Aitah for not wanting to help a friend move?
Sorry for any spelling mistakes. English isn’t my first language
I (38m) have a group of friends (4) of all around the same age and we know eachother for about 20 years or longer.
Everytime one of us moves to a new place we help with moving stuff, painting etc. We all start early and at the end of the day the person that moves makes sure there is beer and some snacks or junkfood.
During the years some of us moved only once. Including me. But one friend moved alot of times. Let’s call him B. He was the first to move to a rental place near his school. Than the first who bought a place and sold it to live in a other country. Came back. Moved in with girlfriend, broke up and moved to a new place and then again move in with his new girlfriend her rental appartement. All those times we helped him which wasn’t a problem. Those days are always fun but also exhausting. The last time one of us moved was around 3 years ago.
- And his girlfriend decided to buy a home because they are planning to get kids. He asked, well not really asked, just said he needed our help again. Alot of stuff has to be moved. Stuff in their appartement but always in his storage.
The last time we helped it took all day and i was exhausted. This time we also have her stuff so it would be even more. To be honest i’m not looking forward to this. I have small back problems. Every 6 weeks i go to a chiropractor. Sometimes more if it hurts. I just have to make sure i lift correctly. Also i work 5 days a week and spending all saturday helping and sunday recovering and then monday back to work isn’t chill.
And i feel like we’ve reached an age were, if we need big help like this, we hire it. When we were younger it’s normal to help each other because we didn’t have the money to hire movers. But we are all at an age where we all have good paying jobs. And they do. He works at this big company and she is a teacher. They make good money.
So i told him i wouldn’t help him this time and i gave him these arguments. One of my friends agreed and said he also wouldn’t help. Then one friend said something along the lines of this:’ So that would mean only 3 guys? If their are only 3 guys that would be a lot for us. I won’t help if there are only 3 guys.’
So now he is angry with me. Because of me there aren’t enough people helping. He said movers are expensive and they put almost all their money into buying this place.
I said i’m sorry but why do it always have to be us helping? In all those times (7 or 8 times) his older brother and sister never helped him move once. His parents only helped a few times and only put stuff together like his bed or closet. His girlfriend has a brother and she perhaps have friends who can help? I said it’s not fair he’s angry with me seeing there are other people who can help.
So am i the asshole? Should i just suck it up and help?
