“AITA for not helping my boyfriend save face after he drank four espresso shots before meeting my family and completely lost it at brunch?”
I love this man but I could have strangled him last Sunday. My boyfriend doesn’t usually drink coffee. He has maybe one cup a month if that. But he was tired from working late the night before and we had brunch with my parents and sister the next morning.
wanted to be alert and social so he stopped at a coffee shop on the way and ordered four espresso shots in one drink. Four. Espresso. Shots. For a man who barely drinks coffee. I didn’t know this until later. He just got in the car with a cup and said he got a coffee. I said cool.
We get to brunch and for the first five minutes he’s great. Like really on. Talkative laughing engaging with my parents. I was actually impressed. Then the caffeine fully hit.
His leg started bouncing under the table so hard the silverware was rattling. My sister looked at the table and then at me and I shrugged because I didn’t know what was happening yet.
Then he started talking fast. Like noticeably fast. My dad asked him one question about his job and he gave a seven minute answer that covered his entire career history his five year plan and somehow ended on a tangent about how elevators work. My mom just nodded politely the whole time.
He excused himself to the bathroom and when he came back he was literally vibrating. His hands were shaking when he picked up his water glass. My sister mouthed to me is he okay and I mouthed back I don’t know.
He tried to butter a piece of toast and tore it completely in half because his hands were trembling so much. He looked at the two pieces of bread in his hands and just said well that happened and then laughed way too hard at his own comment. Nobody else laughed.
After brunch my mom called me and said he seemed really energetic and I said yeah he overdid it on coffee. She paused and said oh honey. Thats my mom’s way of saying she knows everything and is choosing to be gracious about it.
In the car I asked him what he drank. He told me four shots. I said WHY. He said he wanted to make a good impression. I said you talked about elevators for three minutes and couldn’t butter toast. He said yeah but I was really engaged though.
He’s asked me to tell my family he was just really excited to meet them. I said no. You vibrated through brunch and they saw it. Im not covering for that. AITA for refusing to spin it for him?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Wild-Lychee-3312
Honestly if you’re trying to help him not make a terrible impression, telling your family the truth is the best option. Keep it simple, like, “He worked late last night and drank too much coffee this morning.”
21stCenturyJanes
Yeah, too much coffee is something they could laugh about later, but her family thinking he’s on drugs or just whacked out is harder to get over.
Majestic_Poet2375
This. In this case, there really is no harm in being truthful. “Yeah, hey, sorry he doesn’t drink coffee normally. But he worked late the night before and was dead tired, but wanted to make a good impression and engage with you guys.
He thought it would be a good idea to drink four shots of espresso and… well, you saw what happened. Can we redo that brunch?” Tbh, I kinda think this will turn into a story you all laugh about a few months to years down the road. It’s kinda endearing 😹
punkbra
Why does this post make it seem like you’re covering for your boyfriend for doing 4 lines of cocaine versus just overdoing it on coffee? it’s really not a huge deal. i agree with another commenter that i’d be happy he wanted to make sure he made it to the brunch!
Impressive-End241
I don’t see this as a big deal. So he overdid it on coffee, so what?. If I were OP’s family I would be happy that he chose to come instead of going to bed and wanted to be his best self (even though it didn’t work out that way).
He wanted to be awake, alert and ready to engage with your family. That’s actually really sweet. If he doesn’t regularly drink coffee, he may have overestimated how stimulating espresso is. Probably thought it was just a strong cup of coffee.
Mrwaspers007
If you love him and see a future with him why wouldn’t you just tell your family the truth? It’s not like he was doing meth ffs! I hope if something serious happens he can count on you.
Sufficient_Pepper298
I don’t really understand why he would want you to cover that up by saying he was really excited. My family would be way more understanding that he just drank too much coffee because he was nervous about making a good impression. It actually comes off like he cares and just did something a little silly. Claiming excitement just makes him look like a weirdo.
ajrpcv
Lol I’m from a family of avid coffee drinkers, and my husband is a non coffee drinker. We would have thought this was adorable. Go with the truth, there’s nothing wrong with what he did, he just made a mistake.
sooki3
I would absolutely tell them the whole simple story about too much coffee. If I encountered someone doing that, I’d think a different kind of drug than caffeine. Lying doesn’t make any sense. The truth is innocuous in this case.
aspie_koala
I mean if you don’t tell them it was 4 espressos, they’re just gonna continue thinking that he’s doing something worse. I’d tell them, for clarity’s sake. Yes, YTA. He cared about giving a good first impression, messed up and you’re happy letting your family think that he’s an addict, and letting your mum pity you for it.
If you feel embarrassed, think of how it would feel to have rumours about a fake addiction start just because a partner was too proud to tell the truth. That could even spill to his work life. That’s not even “covering for him”, clarifying things would be to honour the truth. And to protect an innocent party (your partner). Don’t be selfish.
So, what do you think of this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?
