“AITA for interrupting a proposal on Valentine’s Day because it was actually my ring?”
I 32M went out to dinner with my gf 30F on valentines day. We went to an upscale restaurant. Honestly, this whole thing would have been avoided if I did the proposal the way I wanted but I knew from talking with my gf that she wanted something in public, but intimate, with champagne and good food, and other aspects.
So after being together for 3 years, having been living together for 1 year, and knowing she was getting a little ansty about marriage, I decided to save up, buy the ring [with the help of her best gay friend Ronnie, the man is a godsend because jewelry is not my thing], and set up the proposal.
Ronnie was awesome enough to get it on video for us. I talked to the wait staff as I made the reservation and they agreed to put the ring on the red velvet cupcake she would get for dessert. She always gets the red velvet. I had a whole speech.
Dinner goes great. Ronnie prepped the video from the corner. He hadn’t actually eaten there otherwise he would have been spotted. Dessert comes out and ….there is no ring. I give the waitress a look and she seems confused. As I’m trying to figure out what happened while trying to not tip off my gf I hear, “OMG YES”.
Turning, I can see a girl holding up a ring and the guy looks both stunned and panicked. There are claps, cheering, whistles and happy tears. She hugs the stiff numb guy so I get up and go over and look at the ring, which she isn’t wearing because *surprise surprise* its not her size.
So I tap the guy’s shoulder and tell him there was a mix up in the kitchen, show them both the email with the recite and image of the ring, and take it back before either can respond.
The guy looks relieved and the woman starts yelling at me about stealing the ring. The guy pipes up that he hadn’t actually bought any ring and that it wasn’t for her. She stares at him, and it looks like she wants to cry.
But the guy continues, basically word vomiting, that he was actually going to wait until March to tell her he wanted a break or to break up (I could only half hear as she started to cry very loudly). He didn’t want to ruin Valentine’s Day for her but he had to be honest.
I dipped after that, because it was really awkward and no longer my issue (which is why I might be the AH). I went back to my table, quietly explained the situation to my girlfriend, and she took the ring, slipped it on and smiled. She told me we could do another proposal but not to make a scene out of it now. I could tell she was sad for the other girl.
But now my face is on a bunch of videos in my area, showing me take the ring and making her cry after she said yes- without context. I have gotten a lot of hate for it, and when told the entire thing, I get hate for not “waiting for the moment to be over” and “humiliating the poor girl”.
AITA?
I didn’t continue with the proposal right after that happened. I didn’t do the speech, the knee, the whole bit. I just quietly explained to her, we finished our food, and left.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
impulsive-puppy
I hope the restaurant at least comped you and the other couple. How awful for everyone involved.
ABAC071319
NTA. Restaurant messed up. They’re the AH. Post a video on whatever socials yours is running around on with what you typed here.
lizziebee66
This is going to be the best ‘how I did but didn’t propose’ story that you are going to be telling for many, many years to come.
Future_Direction5174
I feel so sorry for you and the other couple but sorry, I think this is hilarious.
The poor restaurant screwed this up exremeley badly for all 4 of you!
osirisodincat
Wow. One of the best ones I’ve read in a while. I can only imagine how everyone in the restaurant felt watching this go down…let alone your girlfriend (fiancée?) and especially the other couple.And that other guy? What absolute dumb-foolery to be like, ‘well, actually I was going to breakup with you’. Geesh. NTA!
Queasy-Impact-2981 (OP)
Fiancé. She said yes after we left the restaurant. Ronnie sent me the video and I stared at the empty cupcake like it had. personally offended me.
softshoulder313
NTA. It’s the restaurants fault. I don’t understand the upset from people who weren’t there, it’s not their ring. What people think also doesn’t matter. It’s unlikely you will ever see any of them in person. Who cares what they think.
SuddenFlamingo100
The restaurant screwed up and the boyfriend needed to pull himself together and tell everyone that a mistake was made and he didn’t buy a ring. But he stood there like a dummy. You did what you had to do to rescue an expensive and special piece of jewelry.
Crafty_Special_7052
NTA the restaurant messed up and should be the ones apologizing to everyone involved. I mean it sucks for that girl but once you explained there was a mix up she should have just accepted the mistake instead of yelling at you that you stole her ring.
509RhymeAnimal
What are people expecting you to do? Just sit there while the woman walks out the door with your ring? Sounds like you and your finance (congrats btw) were as discrete as possible in a pretty awkward and awful situation.
No_Bet_589
Oh geez. I’m sure the BF was thinking WTF and didn’t know what the hell to do. Engagement rings are not cheap…… All those idiots posting – what if she had left with the ring? How would you have gotten it back?
In retrospect, you maybe could have alerted the staff and asked them to get it back, but in no way should you have not panicked with thousands of dollars sitting on a strangers finger.
Also – the BF is likely super relieved to get the break up out, even if it totally sucks. Better for it to be over than freaking out about how to break up. If anyone should be getting trolled it’s him for not breaking up with her now, instead of waiting till March for whatever reason!
