“My husband keeps forgetting me. Am I overreacting?”
Several months ago, my husband and daughter went to get takeout when I was sick and didn’t feel like cooking. When they came home, I realized he didn’t bring my food. He had forgotten to even order my food. He was immediately apologetic, offered for me to eat his (which I declined), etc. However, I was HURT.
Made me feel like I must not be that important for him to have forgotten to get food for me, especially considering we discussed what I wanted as he was walking out the door AND I texted it to him. Again, I was super hurt by it but got over it.
Fast forward to yesterday, I have come down with the flu. He called me on the way home to ask if I wanted anything from the coffee shop. I asked for a hot tea. He came home without it – got his but forgot mine. He made me one when he got home and discovered he’d forgotten. I was a little annoyed but moved on.
Today, he called as he was getting out of his car and walking inside the coffee place and asked if I wanted anything. I asked for a hot tea. Again, he came home with his but not mine. This time, he realized before I said anything, and made me one.
Now I’m really annoyed. It’s not about the tea, it’s the principle. Why do you keep forgetting? I do so much for our family and always make sure everyone is straight. So, to me, it feels like a slap in the face. On the other hand, I feel so ridiculous and dramatic even typing this all out. So, yeah, am I overreacting?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Schlong-of-Solomon said:
No. This seems specific. It’s time to have a sit-down and discuss what’s up. Could be on purpose or could be a cognitive issue. I’d come at it expressing some frustration but more concern and see where it goes. Good luck.
kclark2790 said:
I left a boyfriend because he brought my dogs chick-fil-a breakfast but nothing for me. On my birthday.
yeahhthatsme_ said:
Something’s up. Definitely talk to him.
PersonalityLoose1497 said:
Yeah I agree that definitely feels intentional. Its not ridiculous and dramatic at all to feel upset and hurt that your husband, who is the person who’s most supposed to have your back, is somehow managing to “forget” what you asked for.
Especially when he is always prioritizing and never forgetting his own food. Food is a love language, especially in my culture. You need to have a sit down with him, tell him that his actions are hurtful and unacceptable and get to the bottom of it.
Fatkitty22 said:
Okay, this just seems intentional at this point. Time to move to you “forgetting” to do things for him. You doing your laundry, forget to do his. Making dinner, forget to make something for him.
Making your coffee in the morning, forget to make his. He will catch on rather quickly. Then, have a very direct conversation with him about his behavior and how this makes you feel. Not acceptable.
Unable-Guard2525 said:
Does he even like you? Seems unlikely he would forget to get you food or tea multiple times after discussing it and even texting him. I think this might be intentional. At the very least you seem to be really low on his priority list which is a problem if you’re his wife.
