AITA for telling my dad that I don’t care about making him proud?
I(17) am an affair baby. Dad and I only see each other one day a month. He said it was difficult enough to get his wife to agree to that and that he didn’t want to push it. He told me when I’m married I’ll understand compromise. One of the two worst things that happened to our relationship was when his wife said I seem quite well read ‘for a waitress’ son.’ Have my grandpa to thank for buying me books, I suppose. My dad didn’t say anything. I could understand her disdain given that Dad did cheat on her with my mom but his silence stung.
The other was when I came out and he said maybe I was ‘just confused’ and should try dating his friend’s daughter. He did give up on the idea but things just haven’t been the same. I just don’t know what to say or how to act around him. He said he wants me to study abroad in the US or the UK and told me to take an IELTS exam. I took the exam and didn’t do very well in it. Dad accused me of deliberately doing badly so I could stay with my boyfriend(17). I told him I did my best and he said I should’ve tried harder to make him proud. I snapped. I told him I don’t actually care about making him proud and. Dad looked hurt and said he only wanted the best for me, and that I should try to understand
“I Don’t Care About Making You Proud.” — The Moment Everything Broke
In this AITA story, a 17-year-old affair baby finally confronts his distant father after being accused of sabotaging his future, leading to a dramatic emotional fallout.
A teen finally snapped after years of being his father’s once-a-month secret, and now he’s wondering if he went too far.
The Backstory and Early Dynamics
The storyteller is 17 — and he was born from an affair.
His father never raised him, never shared holidays or milestones, never even tried to blend him into his “real” family. Instead, their relationship was reduced to a scheduled one day a month, because that was supposedly the only arrangement his father’s wife would tolerate.
The father told him it was about “compromise,” and that one day the son would understand.
It already felt unfair — but it got worse.
During one visit, the father’s wife made a cutting remark:
“He seems well-read… for a waitress’ son.”
His father said nothing in his defense.
Silence, in that moment, spoke loudly.
Later, when he came out, his father dismissed it, telling him he was “confused” and should date a girl instead. He eventually dropped it — but the damage was done.
Distance turned into discomfort.
Discomfort turned into resentment.
The Moment Things Shifted
Recently, his father decided his son needed to study abroad — in the U.S. or U.K. He pushed him to take the IELTS exam.
He took it.
He tried.
But he didn’t score well.
Instead of encouragement or support, his father accused him of sabotaging the results so he could stay close to his 17-year-old boyfriend.
That was the breaking point.
The Final Confrontation
When his father lectured him about effort, saying:
“You should’ve tried harder to make me proud.”
Something inside him snapped.
He finally said the words he had swallowed for years:
“I don’t care about making you proud.”
His father looked stunned — hurt even — insisting he only wanted the best and that his son should try to understand him.
But the truth?
He had never tried to understand his son.
The Fallout
Now there’s silence — and tension.
The son feels a strange mix of relief, guilt, and sadness.
He finally defended his dignity…
But he also walked away from the tiny thread holding their relationship together.
What Reddit Thinks
This one is shaping up to be NTA (Not the Ahole)** — and strongly.
Sample reactions:
💬 “You’re not an accessory to your dad’s guilt. He failed you long before you stopped caring.”
💬 “There’s a big difference between wanting your child to succeed and wanting your child to validate your image.”
💬 “He didn’t raise you — he managed you. You don’t owe him emotional loyalty.”
A few users might point out that words can cut deep — even when deserved — but the overwhelming sentiment leans toward understanding the teen’s emotional breaking point.
A Final Thought
At what point does a child stop being responsible for healing a relationship they never asked to carry?
Sometimes the hardest truth is this:
Respect isn’t earned through DNA — it’s earned through presence.
