To give a little backstory, me and my girlfriend have been dating for 3 years. We are high school sweethearts and now go to the same college together. Earlier today we were play fighting in her room and I somehow ended up chipping her tooth, it is a very small chip but it is jagged which hurts her tongue when she rolls it across it.
Naturally when it happened I immediately apologized and told her I would take her to the dentist whenever I she needed me to to get it fixed, as she does not have a car and I mostly drive her everywhere. However, things escalated quickly when she started raising her voice and telling me that I better be ready to pay for it when the time comes. Now we are both broke college students, I have a job and she does not but she is trying to become a dentist so she needs to focus on her studies. I told her that there was no way I was going to pay for that and that caused a large argument between us.
Another brief backstory that is important to why I told her I would not be paying is because she ended up breaking my finger last year. So around February or March of last year we were once again playfighting as couples do, when she went for a punch and I ended up blocking it with my pinky finger. There was a very intense pain which took about 5 minutes to recover from but I ended up just shrugging it off. It became very inflamed and looked gnarly, over time the visual worsened with the pain and so I ended up going in for an X-ray where they told me I had mallet finger, and that a fragment of my bone had broken off and that I would need to get surgery to fix everything. At the time I was the principal oboe in my band with solos, and also the section leader for cymbals in my schools indoor drumline group.
Hearing the news that my finger was broken absolutely devastated me and I was very sad. Naturally my girlfriend apologized profusely as she knew how important those things were to me. Eventually I had my surgery and everything was a success, but I would need to have another surgery about 2 months later then be put into another cast. So I made the decision to not pursue music into college which was a very hard choice to make, but after attempting to play with the recently fixed pinky, I knew that it would never be the same.
Now, I do not have anything against my girlfriend as I understand where she is coming from. However, at the same time it was an accident, and she has done permanent damage to one of my fingers which was also an accident. She keeps telling me that it is not the same because her tooth is visible to everyone and everyone is going to be looking at that and no one looks at my finger. I’ve also tried calmly explaining since then about my point of view and asked if she understands where I am coming from, to which she said kind of, in a cold voice. I just don’t know what to do, and I don’t get what is so different, so Am I The Asshole?
