“AITA for not allowing my family to live with us after their home was ruined?”

“AITA for not allowing my family to live with us after their home was ruined?”

To start, I needed to escape from living with my dad and sister many years ago. I moved in with my boyfriend (now husband) in college ten years ago. They’re irresponsible, siphon money, and don’t take care of anything.

My sister is a narcissist, and I have been in therapy for years. I had a baby recently and I’m writing this post on 3 hours of sleep. I’m exhausted and burned out. I’m a working mom, my husband works too, and we’re still in survival mode.

Their neighbor’s house caught fire and burned to the ground. My dad and sister’s home was close – the siding melted, windows cracked, blinds melted, inside smells like smoke. No one was hurt.

My dad and sister still have their belongings. Utilities are off and insurance companies are looking into everything. No clue how long this will take or what is going to happen.

`However, my dad has tons of medical problems and equipment, and would need to stay on the main floor. There is nowhere for him to stay aside from the living room, our only common area, and this is where the baby spends most days. Baby is at an age where he will grab and chew on anything, including small parts for medical supplies.

My dad would need to use the bathroom on the main floor. He is not careful when he goes, to put it politely. He refuses to clean and has been extremely disorganized since I was born. Medically it’s different now, I can’t fault him for not being able to complete everyday tasks…

My concern is the possibility of incontinence, and being around the baby is worrisome due to health concerns. As well as me needing to mother my own father on top of my son.

My sister and her cat have already been staying with us over the weekend. Dad is considered a displaced senior with medical necessities, so the hospital has taken him for now. They want him out soon.

My husband has a mild cat allergy so we can’t keep the cat in the house for long. My sister is disrespectful and rude. I’m used to ignoring her, but my husband is livid. She watched us put away groceries, I had to ask her to help with dishes after she ate a meal that I cooked…

And she brought over my dad’s dirty laundry and didn’t do it because she went to an activity for fun. My husband is currently doing it while I’m at work, and I have to run it to my dad tonight in the hospital. She talks and talks without ever stopping. She is selfish and doesn’t think about anyone except herself.

My husband put his foot down, and I agreed. We spoke with my sister and gave her a two-week max that she could stay. She started to cry. This gives her plenty of time to work with the landlord (they rent) and the insurance to be placed into temporary housing.

I feel very, very guilty though. Been working on not people pleasing but I feel like this is different. But I can’t do this. I’m already at the end of my rope. I need to put my son first. I can’t do more than this. Two weeks is even difficult. AITA?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Right_Cucumber5775 said:

The home owners insurance should be setting up alternating housing while they are displaced.

JaguarMammoth6231 said:

NTA, I wouldn’t have let them stay at all. They can get a hotel room. They should be able to read their insurance documents and see if temporary accommodations are supposed to be covered. You are sure they’re telling the truth about the fire, right?

Natalie_Knockers said:

NTA. You should never have let them step foot onto your property. You have absolutely no obligation to help it house them.

ATCVector1 said:

NTA. It’s hard when it’s family. At some point, you have to say enough is enough and possibly break ties permanently.

pottersquash said:

NTA. You need your peace and safety.

laughter_corgis said:

NTA. It is okay to set a boundary. You both be miserable if they stayed.

julesk said:

NTA, talk to the social worker in the hospital as your dad may need to be placed in rehab or a nursing home given his medical needs. Explain you can’t help him toilet properly or manage his medical needs so you can’t safely house him.

Tell your sister if she has two weeks only if she is civil and she must call the landlord for emergency housing.