“My husband locked me out for 25 minutes. Am I overreacting?”
My husband and I have three year old twin girls and I’m currently 6 months pregnant with our third. We got in an argument over letting our daughters play outside. We got hit hard with the snow but we both had work so we didn’t really have a chance to let the girls play in it.
We were both off today so I thought perfect opportunity! This was the first winter they were old enough to care about snow and they were mesmerized by it. So this morning I told my husband I’m going to take the girls out to play.
He said he didn’t want to come because it’s too cold. I said that’s fine, I am taking them. He said he didn’t want any of us outside because it’s too cold and the girls will get sick. I kind of just laughed and said we won’t be long, it’s 25°f, not negative 20. I probably didn’t handle it the best and brushed him off but he dropped it after that.
I got the girls bundled up and we headed out front. We had fun for a few minutes and they loved it! But within 10 minutes my husband was at the front door calling for the girls to come in. They go inside and I’m kinda just standing in the front yard annoyed for a moment.
I go to go inside, only to find he has locked the door. I’m mad now AND I have to pee. I start knocking and calling for him but he doesn’t come to the door and is ignoring my texts and calls too. Even texted that I really needed to pee and he ignored that too.
The most upsetting part is that I could hear one of my daughters crying the entire time, stressed out knowing her mom is outside. So I stopped knocking and sit on our porch.25 minutes go by and he finally comes and unlocks the door. I push past him to go to the bathroom because yeah I’m mad, about to pee myself, and freezing at this point. He’s smiling like it’s funny and saying “oh I thought you said it’s not that cold what’s wrong?” We haven’t spoken much today after that.
He has genuinely never done something like this before. He’s caring and not punishing or vindictive so this really isn’t in his nature. I’m appalled and really hurt. I understand I annoyed him by taking the girls out and he thinks I undermined his parenting.
But I am a grown woman, he doesn’t get to punish me by locking me out of my own home.
Or maybe he’s justified I don’t know I feel crazy. Am I overreacting?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
BellaMissyStorm
Yeah, he’s a POS. Your kid was crying, clearly knew you were outside. If your kiddo is old enough, they probably wanted to open the door for you, and your husband would have told them not to.
Not the behaviour they should see from a grown ass man. Also, you’re pregnant and this is the way he is treating you? I mean he shouldn’t be treating you like this at all, but what the actual f???
Obsolete-Complete
There is a big difference between going outside and actively playing in the snow for a few minutes and sitting out in the freezing cold. People take their kids skiing all the time. There are also countries that leave their children to nap outside in the snow in their prams (appropriately clothed and covered of course).
Also, it isn’t even about being cold so much. He refused you access to your own home, he separated you from your children while they were distressed, he could have made you soil yourself, and showed your girls that men don’t need to respect the woman they are in a relationship with.
All to ‘teach you a lesson’. Because you dared not agree with his every opinion and decided to create a beautiful moment for your kids instead? I would be keeping an eye on that type of behaviour to make sure he doesn’t escalate. His actions were completely over the top and totally out of proportion to the situation.
ImmaMamaBee
That is an incredible point about going to a neighbor and explaining. I’d be willing to bet that would make him even more upset. There’s nothing an abuser hates more than to be painted as an abuser.
kasthedumb
‘He’s caring and not punishing or vindictive so this really isn’t in his nature.’
Yes, it is. You’ve just been ignoring it. A person doesn’t just wake up one day and decide to be awful.
Karamist623
Agreed. This guy left his pregnant wife outside in the cold, while the kids cried for their mom, all because he said no, and she did it anyway. Vindictive would be an understatement. OP is under reacting IMO. NO.
EqualPeanut2460
I’d be out if i was in that situation. I am not gonna spend my life with someone that disrespectful. He comes across s bit sociopathic. NOR, and why are you even asking?
Early_Mix_9307
NOR. That is tantamount to abuse from your husband to “punish” you for taking your children outside. I get if he does not want to go out for the fresh air and to play with the children but to actually take the decision to lock you out is ludicrous.
Plus what about him not only undermining your parenting but also allowing your children to get the idea that mum isn’t as important as dad AND that it is OK to lock you out of the home, while they cry…. Not good parenting skills from my perspective. Is he your master or your overlord, rather than a life partner?
GenoFlower
This is never, ever justified. This not only traumatized you, but traumatized your daughters. They now feel unsafe in their home, and have seen their father be cruel.They may not understand it fully, but they know how it made them feel. What is wrong with him? Immediate therapy or he would need to leave my house. I wouldn’t feel safe with him at all. You are really under reacting.
So, what do you think of this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?
