AITAH for not allowing my kids 11 and 13 to travel to the Middle East (Dubai) with their Dad this winter to visit his family
I (41f) had a very difficult marriage with my ex-husband (42m) who was financially and emotionally controlling. We lived in the Middle East after our marriage, where he kept control of my and the children’s passports and restricted us from traveling. His family constantly interfered and caused conflict, and because he was financially dependent on his father, he never defended me.
Eventually, we came to the U.S. with my children. His family told me I could only return if I followed their rules sounds crazy I know , but I chose to stay in the US, built a career in IT, and ultimately left the marriage.
Since then, we’ve been co-parenting. I have primary custody, and while he pays child support, he refuses to provide clothing or essentials for the children and instead deducts those expenses from my child support payments. I currently have a case pending with the Division of Child Services regarding his violations of our agreement. He does not have a job and relies on his family for income.
Earlier this summer, he asked if the children could go with him to the Middle East. I told him I was not comfortable with that, especially given the risk that he could keep them there without my say. Since then, he has been ignoring me completely. He only speaks through the children, has ignored over 20 of my messages, and I later discovered he blocked me.
During this time, I was handling all of the children’s medical and school needs, including physicals, dental cleanings, orthodontic consultations, and back-to-school preparations, without any input or communication from him.
He has also made inappropriate comments to the children, telling them I am just “mad” because I can’t afford to go to the Middle East, and even laughed about it with his brother in front of them. Now, with his brother’s girlfriend expecting a baby in December, he wants the kids to travel there for the birth.
But given his history of control, the lack of communication, his habit of deducting child support, and the real legal risks of the children not being allowed to return, I do not feel comfortable allowing them to go. AITAH for not letting them go to Dubai visit my ex’s family?
