AITA for not funding my girlfriend’s dream school?
I (25M) have been dating my girlfriend Sarah (22F) for about two years. She’s incredibly smart and ambitious, and I really admire that about her. Recently, she got accepted to NYU for her master’s program, which has always been her dream school. The problem is, the tuition is around $70,000 per year.
I’m in a decent financial position – I work in tech and make good money, but I’m not wealthy by any means. I’ve been saving up and told Sarah early on that I’d be happy to help with her education costs up to about $20,000 a year. I thought this was generous and would cover a significant portion of tuition at most state schools or help with living expenses.
When she got the NYU acceptance, she was over the moon and immediately started talking about how we could make it work financially. She assumed I would cover the full tuition since I had offered to help with her education. When I reminded her of the $20k limit I had mentioned, she got really upset.
She’s saying that if I truly supported her dreams, I would find a way to make it work. Her argument is that NYU will open doors that other schools can’t, and it’s an investment in our future together. She’s also pointed out that I spent more than $20k on my car last year, so clearly I have the money.
I’ve suggested alternatives like community college for prerequisites, state schools with good programs, or even taking out loans that we could pay back together later. But she says I’m being unsupportive and that I don’t believe in her potential.
I feel terrible because I do want to support her, but $70k per year (plus living expenses in NYC) would completely drain my savings and put me in a difficult financial position. I’ve worked hard to build up my emergency fund and start investing for our future.
I love Sarah and want what’s best for her, but I also think there are more practical ways to achieve her goals. AITA for sticking to my original budget and not funding her dream school?
