AITA
My mom passed away and my sister (28) and I (f 26) inherited a house it is 50/50 ownership.
It resides in a trust for 10 years so it cannot be sold unless we both agree with the term being each of us must always have a room at said house until the 10 years. My aunt is the trustee and makes the rules of the house or it will be taken within the 10 years.
My mother was a disabled vet and had a large add on put into the house so it was handicap assessable. The house has 2 small rooms one is 10×10 and one is is 9×10 or 8×10 either way very small similar in size.
My sister has lived with my mom her whole life (except when she kicked her out for being a grown child for a short term) my mother paid her 1k a month to help her while sick and most of whatever else she. Wanted/ needed. I have moved out a couple of times and moved back. Mom’s house was always a “safe haven” the reason the trust holds the house for 10 years with the clause we both have the right to reside.
My sister recently moved her wife and self into the bigger addition as a bedroom. They have been living in the room for about 2 months.
My husband and I have run into some financial hardship recently snd have reached out to my sister letting her know we need to move to moms for about a year to get on our feet. We have a one year old daughter. She does not sleep alone yet due to breath holding spells so we would need to share a bed room.
My sister wants my family of 3 to sleep in the 10×10 bedroom in a loft/ bunk bed because our bed and her crib will not fit. While her and her wife take the huge addition for the two of them because the bedroom would be too cramped for them. And they feel the big room is their “safe space”. Some contexts the two small bedrooms while my mom was alive were their bedroom and their “day room” where they had a living room set up of their own.
The house will be paid off by the VA and possibly no property tax due to being in a trust. Leaving just utilities as a bill.
My husband I have said we will pay this for them to jsut save their money. (We currently pay $2k/ month just rent) so the utilities we could handle and still be able to get on our feet. My sister and her wife plan to reside in the house where only utilities are needed to pay a month no other bills for the duration of the 10 years. (No compensation to me or anything just advantage to them although a 50/50 inheritance) they cannot afford the bills on their own and her wife is on disability and she makes $17/hr so they plan on moving in a roomate/ friend to split the cost.
I talked to my aunt about knocking the in between wall down of the two small rooms to have a big room ( still significantly smaller than the add on) to make it fit where our bed and child’s crib fits) then to build the wall back once we go to sell the house. My aunt said no that my one year old is making poor choices by having breath holding spells that she will learn and we have to make it work.
I asked for our family of 3 to get 1 yr in the big room still sharing the house while we get on our feet and they can have the remainder of the 10 yrs of the house to themselves without us living. There.
My sister absolutely refuses stating the only option is for us to take the small room. She’s stated she’s given us numerous options to make it work but I am being selfish because I refused to do what will work to fit us. Her options for us are a Bunk bed for my husband and I, loft bed for my husband and I, or for my husband and I to sleep in separate rooms). She said people struggling financially do whatever they have to do so I will do that if need.
I have told my sister I need space from her that’she’s hurt me deeply by choosing a big bedroom over a situation that could work for us all.
She says it’s not fair and I told her I feel like about 9 years of a house not shared where all u pay is utilities for 1 year of us getting on our feet in a shared house with the big bedroom as ours felt more than fair. She told me I need therapy and it’s her fucking room. Am I the asshole for being mad/hurt she won’t let us use the bigger room?
