AITA for telling my partner I won’t give him head?

AITA for telling my partner I won’t give him head?

My partner(38m) and I(34f) have been together almost ten years, we have two beautiful children 6yo and 2yo.

My partner is very sexually driven and I am not as much, since becoming a mother.

I have had an ongoing issue with my jaw since I was a child. It is kind of locked. It has gotten progressively worse over time to the point that if I open it wide for more than a few seconds it causes me a lot of pain. For this reason I obviously it is very painful for me to give head. On top of this, I just don’t even want to. He does not keep himself clean enough etc.

My partner constantly makes comments about wanting it, and every time I feel so awkward but also angry as he implies that I am making it up just to use an excuse.

I am often in pain with it when eating etc. And will tell him, for comfort, but he will always react as if I am trying to back up the big lie that gets me out of giving him head!

I am sick to death of his behaviour and lack of understanding/empathy towards me.

I told him I can’t do it and if he needs it so badly he will have to break up with me and find someone who will. His response was “oh now you are ultimatum-ing me?” In a very mocking tone.

Does that sound like an ultimatum?

I would rather be single than have to deal with this any longer to be honest. But also, I don’t want to deny him something, if he needs it that badly.

So, AITA?