My in-laws have different political views than my husband and I, and for 20 years I kept the peace, never argued with them, and focused on family time when we’re together (they live on the other side of the country).
Then at the beginning of trump’s second term when he was attacking federal employees, my mother in law texted me that she hopes I lose my do nothing job and to go f*ck myself. I’m a clinician at a hospital, so I hardly have a do nothing job, and people would have suffered if I lost my job. Especially my husband and child since I’m the primary breadwinner and hold the insurance for the family, which covers my husband’s mental health treatment. This time was extremely stressful for me as I navigated what would happen to my family if I lost my job, and my mother in law decided to attack me out of nowhere.
So it’s been a year, no apology from her or accountability. She’s gone silent. She hasn’t seen my child in 2.5 years, almost never reaches out, but sends my child gifts for bday and Christmas. About 2.5 years ago, she visited us and got into an argument with my husband, so hasn’t come back, though they still occasionally talk.
Now she wants my husband and child to fly across the country to see her, I’m not invited. No apology to me or acknowledgement of what she’s done to me.
I told my husband this is hurtful and she’s delusional if she thinks she can pretend she did nothing to me and still try to have a relationship with my child, especially after putting in no effort for the last 2.5 years. My husband says that now he’s trying to keep the peace after decades of arguing with his parents about politics and their racist, sexist, hateful views. I say his mother owes me an apology before my child is flown across the country to see her. My husband is acting like I’m the problem now. AITA?
