I (F52) live with my husband (M55) and our two kids: daughter (F15) and son (M17). My daughter has always been on the chubbier side, and honestly, our whole family is overweight.However, since she started high school, her weight gain became extreme. In the span of just a few months, she went from being somewhat chubby to weighing over 300 pounds at only 15-years-old. Obviously, this worried us a lot. We later realized the weight gain was a symptom of deeper issues.High school has been very hard for her, and she was being bullied. She started stress eating, and since we all gain weight easily, things escalated quickly. We are addressing the emotional side of this with a therapist and working with the school, but we also can’t ignore the physical weight gain.I took her to a nutritionist, who gave her a structured meal plan to help her lose weight in a healthy way. She started the plan last week. I decided that our entire family would follow the same meal plan.Here’s why:I’m not cooking two separate meals every day. It’s much easier and more realistic for me to cook one meal for everyone.We are all overweight. None of us are in as alarming a situation as my daughter, but losing some weight would benefit everyone.
I think it will be much easier for my daughter to stick to the plan if she’s not watching the rest of us eat differently or keep junk food in the house.
I honestly don’t see a downside to our family learning how to eat healthier together.
To be clear, I’m not starving anyone. I adjust portion sizes based on each person’s needs.
My husband and son are upset. They feel it’s unfair that just because my daughter gained a lot of weight, everyone has to “go on a diet.” They say I’m punishing them for her problem and that I should just cook separate meals, one for my daughter (and me, if I want) and one for them. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable, but they’re acting like I am. So, AITA?
Not long after posting, OP shared an edit.
EDIT: Okay, I get it, point taken about the word *“*diet.” I’m on the older side, and that’s just what we’ve always called intentional changes in eating. I genuinely appreciate the feedback, and if changing my language helps my family accept this better, I’m happy to do that. That said, I’d appreciate judgments focusing on my actions rather than getting stuck on word choice
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Adadmirable433 wrote:
NTA – it will be nearly impossible for your daughter to do it alone watching everyone else eat unhealthy food. It’s nbd that your son is mad, but ask your husband to be supportive and eat cookies at work lol. He doesn’t REALLY have to do the diet. But it’s not about him. It’s about supporting your daughter through a transition.
It’s hard enough as it is, but having everyone (at least the parents lol) be like – okay cool we are getting healthy together – will significantly increase her chances of success. You wouldn’t drink alcohol in front of an alcoholic or a bunch of great bread in front of someone quitting bread after discovering celiac.
Or a tub of ice cream in front of someone who just learned they’re diabetic. It doesn’t have to be this way forever, but the supportive thing to do is to have it be a family effort. Getting bullied at school is hard, knowing your working together as a team with your family is a good way to feel connected Good luck!
kwyl wrote:
NTA. Imo sounds like the same opportunity to me as it does to you. But I think you should do it a different way. You just cook the one healthy meal. If they don’t want to eat that, they can cook for themselves and clean the whole kitchen when supper is over.
I do understand the issue with your daughter watching people eat stuff she can’t have but it’s gonna be that way for her everywhere. Better she start getting used to it now so you are there to help her through her feelings. And the boys could eventually come around if you just do it and leave them alone.
R4eth wrote:
NTA. Your son is at a certain age, so. As a man who was once his age? I got some very, stupid simple advice that might help: tell him [gender he’s attracted to] likes a man who takes care of himself. And knows how to cook.
This could be an excellent opportunity to teach your soon to be college age kids how to take care of themselves. You’re not asking them to do an extreme fasting diet which have been proven to not work. Just make healthier choices in moderation under guidance from a licensed professional.
Illustrious-shirt569 wrote:
NTA. Eating appropriately moderate amounts of decent-quality food isn’t a “diet,” is a wise choice for health, energy, and life. Stop calling it a “diet,” and start doing your part in changing the way your family eats if it’s not serving anyone well beyond tasting/feeling good in that exact moment. And sure, if they don’t like it, they can source their own food, at their own effort.
Ericameria wrote:
A diet literally means the food and drink you regularly consume. People are getting hung up on the word, but it’s a generic word. If you mean a calorie restricted diet, that’s a specific type of diet. But the bottom line is your husband and son can eat what they want. They just can’t expect you to cook it for them.
