AITA for telling my brother and his fiancé I can’t babysit every second Sunday anymore?”
I (21F) have a brother (27) and his fiancé (27F). They had a baby in November 2024. Before the baby was born, my sister (23) and I agreed to babysit every second Sunday once they went back to work.
At the time, I was working casually and had a flexible schedule. By mid 2025, my work and personal commitments changed. I gave them notice that I couldn’t keep committing to every second Sunday. I said I could still help once a month. My sister continued doing the fortnightly babysitting.
My brother didn’t take this well. He said it was “pretty piss poor effort” and that I knew this was my responsibility. I told him I agreed to help when my situation was different and that I was still offering to help, just not as often.
He replied that if it wasn’t for my sister they’d be “completely screwed over” and that I couldn’t use holidays or events to get out of this. I told him the way he was speaking to me was part of why I didn’t want to keep committing, but that I was still willing to help once a month.
Part of why I reacted that way is because growing up I wasn’t treated very well by my brothers and there was physical fighting at times, so being spoken to like that as an adult just brought a lot of that back up for me.
He then said: “If you don’t want a relationship with your nephew that’s cool. If you’re going to pick and choose when you want to be around, you can go do your own thing. You’re a professional victim. This isn’t about you. You’re delusional.”
After that (August 2025), I stopped speaking to him and his fiancé. Since then, I’ve left the family group chat due to feeling extremely uncomfortable in this and found out they’ve been talking about me behind my back, including saying no one would hire me and calling me “scat.” My mom has tried to talk to my brother about how I’ve been treated and cut out, but he and his fiancée don’t care and don’t want to resolve it.
I’ve been told I should apologize for backing out of the babysitting, but there’s been no apology for how I was spoken to or for the ongoing behavior. I’m also not invited to another brother’s wedding because they don’t want me there. AITA for saying I couldn’t babysit every second Sunday anymore?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Alternative_Side1772 says:
NTA your brother is being entitled and manipulative. You do not deserve to give him your time to babysit HIS kid and then have that attitude with you. I would’ve told him his kid not my problem.
ingridible9 says:
NTA. I wish your sister would stop babysitting for them too so they can actually face consequences for being such a jerk.
CentaurSeige says:
Your brother is manipulative AF. And you should verbalize that while also maintaining your highly appropriate boundary. NTA.
Only-Breadfruit-6108 says:
NTA. You don’t owe anyone free childcare, especially if you get disrespected so much.
