Aborted My Fiancé’s Baby After What He Said About His Kids Was I Wrong?
I need outside opinions because I’m still processing this. Before my fiancé and I got serious, I made my expectations very clear. If we were going to build a future, I needed him to have a healthy relationship with his ex and his kids. I also told him I prefer staying in my own place because for one i love my space, my designs, my peace. And two erykah badu and bag lady has always stuck with me. But He agreed to everything. For a while, things were actually good fr. We all got along. Me, him, his BM, and the kids.
Museum trips. Zoo days. Even Disney.
No unnecessary bs. The kids are adowable 5 and 6, chunky little cheeks, full of personality.
Their mom and I were cool. I genuinely liked the dynamic we had. Fast forward a few weeks. We’re talking casually about the future, kids, marriage, life stuff. And my pregnancy comes up. And out of nowhere, he says “When we have our kids, **our kids come first. Not my BM’s kids. They’re not my kids anymore. F them kids.”
Im like what… I asked him why he would even say that. He said he was “dead ass” at first, then laughed and said he was “just playing” after seeing my face. To me that didn’t feel like a joke. It bothered me deeply. Not just because I’m cool with their mom but because what kind of man speaks about his own kids like that? A grown man at that…. I stepped back to cool off. But after that, the mask kept slipping. He started making little comments talking about “my bm need to find a man so she can take care of them kids”. “Man i cant wait until my new kid come we gone show them”.
Then talking about once we married things going to change like wym. Wtf are you talking about. When he started talking crazy out the side of his neck that’s when it clicked for me. This is the type of man who abandons responsibility once he gets what he wants. I was thinking about this baby And I made a decision. I had an abortion. I told him. He lost it getting angry asf Accusatory. Blaming me. I packed my things and left. Because I realized If you can casually discard the children you already have, there’s nothing special about the ones you would have with me. Later, his BM reached out asking what happened. She was upset. She said she really liked me and wished things didn’t end this way.
Now she’s giving him hell because, in her words “Whatever you did, you messed up something good.” So now I’m asking Did I do too much? Or was that the reddest flag of all? Because to me… men like this don’t change. They just rotate families and i peeped game.
