“AITA for refusing to pay child support for my ex-girlfriend’s daughter?”
I (M28) and I recently broke up with my girlfriend of six years. When we started dating, her daughter was 3 years old, and now she’s 9. Over the years, I got close to her daughter and treated her like my own, though I was never legally her father.
I took her to school, spent time with her, and even helped out financially for things like clothes, school supplies, and some activities. But now that we’ve broken up, I’ve decided that I don’t want to be involved in their lives anymore, especially when it comes to financial support.
My ex reached out a few weeks ago, asking if I could still help with her daughter’s expenses because her father is not in the picture. She claimed that I was the closest thing her daughter ever had to a father, and that it’s not fair for me to abandon her completely after being in her life for so long.
I told her that while I care about her daughter, I have no legal obligation to support her, especially now that we’re no longer together.
She’s been calling me heartless, accusing me of leaving her daughter in the lurch after years of acting like a father. Some people said I should continue helping out, at least for the child’s sake, because I built such a strong bond with her. But I feel like this isn’t my responsibility anymore. I don’t want to be tied to my ex in any way, and paying for a child that isn’t mine seems unfair.
AITA for refusing to pay child support or take care of my ex-girlfriend’s daughter after we broke up?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
[deleted]
I’m interested in why you broke up.
PictureSufficient932 OP responded:
We grew apart
MelissaIsBBQing
It happens, but you loved her like your own for six years and now you’re just done? Don’t play house. Don’t play dad. It’s not fair to this little girl. YTA for that. You don’t need to give her money but to not feel any love for this kid six years later is insane.
LibrarianChic
Hard yes to this. You can date someone without parenting their children, but if you move in, read bedtime stories and let them call you daddy, you are inviting a dynamic that has more emotional and ethical responsibilities than just being someone boyfriend.
hunnyflash
You “grew” apart, but you want nothing to do with her? That’s weird. I can imagine needing some space after a breakup, but this thing so many people do where they just HAVE to go cold turkey is a bit cowardly. Like what, are you going to die if she’s around one day? Is the sky going to fall down?
chawn5
NTA. Where is dad? Dad should have been paying child support all along. I do feel sad for the child since she is losing a father figure, tho.
PictureSufficient932 OP:
She had her daughter at 17 when the father found out he moved to live with another family member.
mutualbuttsqueezin
NTA. Do not give her a dime otherwise it could be used against you to get actual child support. This isn’t your problem. She needs to go after the real father if she wants someone else’s money.
squirrelfoot
The OP certainly has no legal obligations, and he shouldn’t be paying child support, but ghosting a little girl who has seen him as a father figure for six years is incredibly harsh.
gemmygem86
Nah not your kid. She can go after the real father for money.
nighthawk_something
Anyone who spends 6 years in a child’s life and f&^%a off is a piece of s^%$.
ImaginaryScallion371
If you pay anything iy can be used againts you in court and she can get child support. Check in with a lawyer if you want to help, else just block her and move on.
