AITAH for not considering marriage after my girlfriend got pregnant?
To get things clear right off the bat, I 30M love my girlfriend 28F very much. We have been together for over three years now. When we got together, I made it clear from the beginning that I just don’t do the marriage thing.
My parents went through a messy divorce that took years, I have already seen my peers and older mentors go through divorce, I just decided marriage wasn’t for me. I also decided that I didn’t want kids. So when we got together three years ago she was on board with the idea. Less than a year in she moved into my house, we became life partners, I got her a promise ring, and that was that.
Two months ago however, her birth control failed, and she was apprehensive about the thought of terminating the pregnancy. I told her it’s alright, I own my house outright, I can convert the spare room into a nursery, and we can figure it out. It’s not what we wanted, but we can do it. I have a chronic pain condition so I’ll have to really reorient my life around the new child, but it’s what I have to do now.
Recently however, she has brought up the topic of marriage, and I told her my thoughts haven’t changed, even with the baby. I own a home, am growing in my career in healthcare, and have a painful disability so the thought of fighting it out in court in 10 years if things don’t work out is not something I want to do.
She said that it felt fine when it was just us, but she feels a little insecure being unmarried now. I said we could look into some options, (Domestic partnerships, wills, trusts), but I wouldn’t get married. She said okay. We had a good night yesterday.
I brought up the situation to some of my female coworkers, and they said that my girlfriend seems pretty dependent on me and that I’m taking advantage of her naivety. I said that what we have is completely consensual and that I have been upfront from the start, so I’m confused about whatthere is to be taking advantage of. Maybe I could get some alternate perspectives here. So AITAH?
