AITAH- refusing to pay my father-in-law $400 a week to live in his mortgage-free home after we moved in to help him?
My mother-in-law passed away last year. It was devastating for everyone. After she passed, my father-in-law asked my husband and I to move into the family home to help him because he didn’t want to live alone. The plan is to put a granny flat/tiny home out the back and we would live in the main house with our two children.
For context: when my MIL passed, my FIL received roughly $300,000. My husband and I received nothing. The home is mortgage-free.
Now, after we’ve started organising the move, he’s saying he expects us to pay him a minimum of $400 per week in rent on top of covering all bills.
Before agreeing to move in, it was clearly my understanding that we would cover all household bills and pay for a cleaner fortnightly for both the main house and granny flat.
To make this move happen, we have to rehome both of our dogs. My children lose access to a backyard because of the granny flat build, We won’t be able to use the driveway/carport. Most of his and my MIL’s belongings will remain in the main house with us, meaning we’re sharing space rather than having full use of it.
He works full-time and receives about 62% pension income. The house is fully paid off. He is not financially struggling.
I completely understand it’s his property and legally he can charge whatever he wants. That’s not my argument. My issue is that the expectations changed after we committed to uprooting our lives to help him. If $400 per week had been said at the beginning we wouldn’t have agreed
AITAH
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Tell him to use that money for a CNA because you won’t be moving. NTA
I don’t know about where OP lives, but the city I live in, it’s ILLEGAL to rent a place the tenants cannot fully use.
That means FIL’s stuff would have to go someplace else, and the driveway at the very least would HAVE to be included in that availability.
But the law is probably different where OP is……
OP YWBTA to your family if you took this deal. Next time, get it ALL in writing, that way FIL can’t backtrack or change terms.
NTA. Do not go through with it, rent your own place because he’ll keep changing the agreement and you will resent your husband because of his father.
If this isn’t sorted out before you move, you’ll be back here in 6 months asking if you’re the a-hole for wanting to divorce your husband.
NTA. This is a bad idea I would talk with your spouse and make plans to find alternative living accommodations
Stop everything. Do not move in with him. “Doesnt want to be alone” is code for you will become the one doing everything and he wants you to pay for doing it. NTA. If you want to move closer to him, sure, do that. But do not move into the 4-months-gone woman’s home with all their stuff like you’re the ones who fell on difficulty and needed a place to live.
