I (31F) have an older sister Mary (33F). Mary has always been the favorite. Growing up, my parents idolized her because of her looks, grades, she was athletic, and more.
She is described as my parents golden apple baby I on the other hand, was both 2 years later. I was an accident. I was born prematurely with a heart condition.
Growing up, I was in and out of the hospital receiving countless surgeries.
My parents always threw in my face that I was draining their money, even though my grandparents always paid for anything insurance didn’t cover. She never hid her h__red towards me.
She’d constantly bully me and my parents did nothing about it. When I graduated high school, I had enough I begged my grandparents to pay for me to go to a college states away, just so I could get away from her. That was the best decision ever because that’s where I met my now husband Greg.
Greg was a sweetheart. He always made me feel beautiful no matter what size I was. After graduating, we ended up getting married, in which his family paid for because my parents refused stating they spent too much on my sisters wedding a year prior.
They didn’t even bother to attend the wedding. We ended up choosing to live in the city we graduated in. I rarely talked to my family back home outside of my grandparents.
Greg and I later would have a son together. This was a high risk pregnancy. I was advised to terminate early on as the results could be fatal.
Luckily we both made it. I almost didn’t though. The amount of strain it put on my heart was destrimental.
I was strongly urged by doctors to not have anymore children and we agreed. Fast forward to about 1 month ago, my family and I moved back to my hometown, after my grandpa’s health was declining and I wanted to be near him. As soon as I moved back, my parents and sister started acting very nice to me.
My mom would ask me how I was doing and tell me how proud she was of me, which is something she never does. My sister would join and do the same. I knew something was up but my grandmother said to give them a chance and maybe they missed me.
2 weeks later I was invited to my parents house for family dinner. While at the table my sister said she had a present for me. She whipped out a card and I opened it expecting it to be an apology letter.
But no, to my suprise it was a letter stating that my sister found out she’s infertile and congratulating me on becoming her surrogate. I was floored. I told her that I cannot have her baby.
I tried to explain what my pregnancy did to my body with my heart and she started crying. My parents began screaming at me for being selfish and not wanting to help out my sister. I explained that doctor’s instructed me no but they said ‘for family, you take risks’.
I couldn’t believe it. I grabbed my husband and stormed out. I can’t help but to feel bad still.
So reddit, AITA for not wanting to be a surrogate for my sister, risking my health in the process?
