“AITA for phone use in the locker room?”
My wife (28F) and I (29F) take our son (2M) to the pool every Saturday morning for swim class. After class, I change first and my wife showers our son and then I change him while she gets changed.
I changed my son and gave him a snack. He was pretty wiggly and wanting to run all over the locker room. I can’t take him to the lobby or he will cry for mom. So I took him into one of the private changing stalls and closed the curtain half way.
The view to the locker room from the stalls is only the sinks in the bathroom. There were plenty of changing stalls available. I turned a YouTube kids thing on the lowest volume and set it on his lap on the chair while I packed the bag.
My wife was changing in the main locker room. A lady came over from the sink and told me to put my phone away. I asked if she was an employee. She said no, but I shouldn’t have my phone out in the locker room as there is a sign.
I told her we came to a private area so as not to make folks uncomfortable and that I was simply distracting my kiddo while I packed my bags so he didn’t make anyone changing in the locker room uncomfortable by running up to them.
I then closed the curtain the rest of the way. She came back about 3 minutes later and opened the curtain and said she was going to call an employee if I don’t put my phone away. I said to leave me alone and just closed the curtain.
My wife finished up changing and we left about 5 minutes later and spoke to the employees at the front desk who said the signs are more for not taking a video or voice recording or call, and appreciated that we went to a private area before getting a phone out. I understand peoples concerns in public changing areas but I genuinely don’t think I was the AH here.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Dry-Butterscotch4545
YTA. I’m gonna play devils advocate here and say if your kid can’t go a few minutes without having to be entertained with a screen, you’ve got bigger problems.
littlepinkheart09
Ok but its not that lady’s job to be locker police. If she has an issue she can go tell the staff, not open the closed curtains where someone might be changing.
Cookies_2
This. The audacity of returning and opening a closed curtain is wild. Worse behavior than a kid watching YouTube for a few minutes.
px4855
First, I mean this in the nicest way possible. YTA. Having kids doesn’t exempt you from rules everyone else has to follow. Follow the rules. If you can’t, go somewhere else. Put your f-king phone away ESPECIALLY in a god damned changing room where privacy is highly expected. What is wrong with you?
Mysterious_Salt_247
Not only did you break a rule that applies to you just as much as everyone else, but you played YouTube in a public space. I don’t care how low the volume was. That is rude and obnoxious. Stop being selfish. YTA.
WinterReview7992
YTA – it’s just not appropriate usage. You needed to pack up, there’s an opportunity to incorporate him. I have attended so many toddler swim classes over the years and never pulled out a phone in a changing room. Talk to him about the class, have him list colors he sees, do the bare minimum to engage.
Having your child sit passively off to the side with a phone at every mild inconvenience isn’t helping him learn and grow. People need to feel safe in changing spaces. Nobody knows if you’re facetiming or recording or just playing music, and nobody should have to worry about it.
lmholot1981
What? You can’t take him to the lobby with a video, you can only do it in the locker room? And I don’t care if your kid is “wiggly” or wants mom. That is your issue. Go to the lobby or to your car. YTA.
Known-Grapefruit4032
YTA, sorry. Good intentions, but even if it’s obvious you weren’t recording/photographing, you were playing videos with the volume on in a public space. Most of the world is an AH for that one.
CrumpetsGalore
YTA. Having a ‘kiddo’ doesn’t exempt you from the rules or entitle you to prioritise your convenience about other’s comfort and wellbeing.
myshellly
YTA. It’s hard to tell what other people are doing on their phones. Anyone is who taking video or pics in the locker room could just say “oh, I’m watching YouTube.” That’s why this rule exists.
ConflictGullible392
YTA, not for using a phone at all but playing volume out loud is automatic AH behavior in any public setting. Headphones exist, use them.
Medical_Tomato8537
So much this! This is my pet peeve. Why do parents think children’s shows are compelling for adults around them? I have three children raised in the iPad age. We always used headphones because I knew no one else wanted to know all the words to Barney songs. Somehow now both children and adults think it’s totally cool to talk on the phone/watch videos/play music out loud in public. Sigh.
residentcaprice
ESH. Lady for pulling the curtain, you for using the phone when that’s the rule. Find another way to distract your toddler. Sometimes I wonder if we over rely on devices. How did our parents keep us quiet in pre smart Phone era?
periperiwinklesauce
YTA. What are all the other children do as they get packed up? Imagine a dozen + YouTube videos playing throughout the space. Maybe you & your partner need to swap tasks if you can’t manage to get your kid dressed and wait 5 minutes?
gothdrag
ESH. Your intentions were fine, but at the end of the day no one has any clue what you’re actually doing on your phone. That lady didn’t. And neither did the employee. That’s part of why the rule exists.
Further, immediately going to screentime to pre-sooth a tantrum that hadn’t even happened is not helping your kid. Parent them, don’t shirk responsibility off onto a phone. That woman should have never opened your curtain, though. But that said, she could clearly either hear or see your phone, which is a problem in that setting.
BitterlyBiscotti
I agree with you completely, except at the end. The second time, the lady opened the fully closed curtain. That is so beyond acceptable, regardless of whether she thought she knew what was happening in there. The lady should have gotten a staff member if she was so concerned.
Broken-Ice-Cube
While you didn’t have bad intentions yes YTA there’s rules for a reason. You broke them. You also left the curtain open enough that she could see you. Meaning the phone could easily have been used to take photos of other people You could very much have taken kiddo outside and gave him the phone.
So, what do you think of this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?
