AITA for telling my wife I’m done hosting her family every holiday because they never offer to help or bring anything?
I have been married for six years. We have a decent sized house so we’ve always hosted holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter. My own family (parents and sisters) doesn’t stay here. My wife’s parents, her brother and his wife, and their two kids.
About 8 people total.
Here’s the thing. They show up empty handed every single time.
No food, no drinks, no offering to help cook or clean only few times when asked to help. They sit on the couch watch football and wait to be fed. Then after dinner they go home and leave us with all the mess.
I’ve mentioned this to my wife before. She said that’s just how they are and they’re guests. But they’re not guests at this point. It’s been six years.
Last week her mom texted asking about preparations for Easter Sunday. I told my wife I’m done. I said if they want to come they need to bring something and help clean up or at least send money for something.
My wife said I’m only making things weird and she did all the work before we got married. Her brother and parents aren’t used to doing anything with her around.
She said my suggestion will only make things awkward and stop her family from coming over. I said I’m tired of being used as a free restaurant. We spend a lot on food and three days cooking and cleaning while they do almost nothing.
She told me she’ll handle it and later told me she called her mom and asked if they could bring a dessert and her mom said she’s not a good baker and she thinks that got her mom got upset because she changed the subject immediately.
Now my wife thinks I don’t want her family around since she never complained herself about work. Her mom hasn’t confirmed if they’re coming and that seems like my fault. She’s asked if I could call them to ask if they’re coming and I’m not going to call. Does that make me an A-Hole
