AITA Am I a bad partner for being honest after my girlfriend self-sabotaged her career?
Background on the post
I’m 27M and my girlfriend is 24F
She struggles maintaining a job and has a tendency to self sabotage or quit when she feels something isn’t worth it despite not considering future outcomes at times.
My girlfriend didn’t go to school, doesn’t have much work experience, and we were so happy to hear she landed a background investigator job that pays 55 dollars an hour and is remote.
I am a substitute teacher and going to school to become a Sped teacher. I make about 280 a day at the moment.
We were so happy she got this job and we can start planning big life decisions together like buying a home, saving, investing, vacationing, etc.
2 months into her job she began bullshitting. Her job didn’t assign work so she decided she didn’t need to do anything.
I told her she needs to log on and or call someone to ask what she needs to do in this situation. No job is going to be okay with this.
She responded with she’s got it taken care and proceeded to spend the week lounging in the pool.
She put in her hours ahead of time and they called her, asked what she’s been doing, she tried to lie and they fired her for time fraud.
The absolute anguish I felt knowing this was coming, I tried to everything I could to stop it from happening and she didn’t listen. It genuinely keeps me up at night 6 months later.
Since then, she’s been hopping from minimum wage job to minimum wage job and she is pretty depressed about the whole situation.
She constantly asks me if I still want to be with her, if it’s worth it for us, this and that, and I love her very much but the stress I’ve felt from this situation and the aftermath has been exhausting.
The months ago it finally came out and I told her “since you’ve lost your job, I can’t say I look at you the same. I knew what was coming and you didn’t listen to me. You had no backup plan and were in a worse off situation because of it but I think we can move forward. Eventually you’ll land a job that is similar but you have to keep trying”
She’s been cold ever since understandably to an extent but it’s been months. AITA for being honest about this?
TL;DR: Girlfriend lost a high-paying remote job after ignoring warnings and committing time fraud. I’ve been carrying resentment and finally admitted I don’t see her the same. Now I’m questioning whether that honesty makes me a bad partner.
