“AITA for replacing everything my wife loses when she organizes against my will?”
My wife and I each have private rooms in our house. Nothing weird. No locks on the doors. They are just our private areas. We also have areas of responsibility. She has the kitchen and I have the garage.
That means that when I use the kitchen to cook and when I clean up I return it to the order that she has determined is best. When she uses the garage for some project ally tools get put back where they belong and she cleans up after herself.
The problem is that she is a neat freak. She cannot stand clutter. I on the other hand have no problem putting my purchases in my room to deal with later. Whether it’s toys or computer parts I will leave them in the corner until I get to them. My personal mess does not pass the threshold of my door.
My wife sees this as a personal insult. She will go into my area and organize. And then she will forget where she put my stuff. So I’ve started replacing whatever it is she loses. For example I like to wear black Carhartt coveralls when I’m working in the garage or riding my motorcycle.
So if I spot some on sale I will buy them and put them in the closet until I wear out the ones I’m currently using. She decided that coveralls don’t belong folded in the closet. I finally wore the ass out of the ones I was using. I went into my closet and the spare set was missing. I asked her where they went and she couldn’t remember.
She looked through all the closets and the laundry room and she couldn’t find them. So I went and bought new ones out of our fun budget. Now she is upset because she eventually found the other pair in with all the Christmas gifts.
She buys Christmas gifts all year long whenever she finds a good sale on something. She thinks I could have been more patient. I think she should stay out of my room. Or at the very least not take things out of the room without making a note of where she moved them.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
pickadillyprincess said:
NTA. Whoever is saying you don’t care for your wife is dumb. If I broke something of my husbands or my husband broke or lost something of mine we would always offer to replace it. That’s just what you do.
Only-Breadfruit-6108 said:
I don’t see why people are saying that you’ve disrespected your wife. By not waiting longer for her to search and find what she did with your belongings? NTA. That would drive me nuts too.
chunkymajor said:
It is INFURIATING to not be able to find your own stuff. Because someone moved it even after you repeatedly told them not to. Definitely NTA and your wife is a massive ahole. Get a lock for your room.
curtiss_mac said:
NTA, your space is your space tell her to leave your stuff alone or else youll start moving her things around too.
HedyHarlowe said:
NTA – why does she get to be controlling and you have to accept it? She is way out of line and little miss clean freak can go to therapy.
LydiaDarragh said:
It seems like a silly question, but why were your spare overalls that you had placed in your closet with the Christmas gifts? That doesn’t make sense at all? Was she going to give you your own pants back as a present? You’ve been patient and you’re NTA.
Membership-Bitter said:
NTA. What the other people commenting are ignoring is that your wife keeps losing your things and only your things. It has to be intentional with her throwing out your things unless you live in a mansion with 30 rooms. No way does she keep misplacing things in such a way they can never be found again.
itdoes_doesntit said:
NTA. I started buying replacement clothing when my husband ruined my clothing when he washed and dried improperly. He said he couldn’t be bothered to read the instructions for cleaning of each individual item because it took too long.
I started buying replacements and he didn’t like what I was doing to the budget. I said stop ruining my clothes and I’ll stop having to buy replacements. We now do our own laundry separately which I’m completely fine with. If he moved my stuff, I’d buy new.
