‘AITA for being upset that my close friend didn’t invite my husband to her wedding?’ UPDATED

“AITA for being upset that my close friend didn’t invite my husband to her wedding?”

AITA for being upset that my friend (my MOH) didn’t invite my husband to her Vegas wedding? I’m just really confused and honestly hurt. My friend, who was literally my maid of honor at my wedding, is having her wedding in Vegas. I got the invite and it was just to me. No husband, no +1, nothing.

For context, my husband knows her and her fiancé well. It’s never been “just me and her.” So I don’t understand why he’s suddenly not included.

When I asked her about it, she basically said they’re being “selective” with spouses in general. But it still feels really personal. Like… this is my husband, not a random date. I told her it hurt my feelings and her response was kind of dismissive. Just “I didn’t think this would bother you” and she mentioned I’ve gone on trips without my husband before?? Which isn’t the same at all.

I don’t know. I just feel weird about going by myself to Vegas for someone who apparently doesn’t want my husband there. But now I’m worried I’m overreacting.

AITA for being upset and not really wanting to go?

This is what people had to say to OP:

Select_Draw3385 said:

NTA. “Sorry, I can’t make it. I have to be selective about how I spend my money and free time.” I wouldn’t go if my husband wasn’t invited. It’s not like you can ever spend couple time with them again after they alight your husband. The friendship is basically over anyway

Sad_Source3052 said:

I would tell her something like: Sorry “friend” but I don’t feel comfortable coming to Vegas and your wedding alone and since you did not invite my hubby, I will need to decline. I wish you the best wedding and I regret not being able to attent.”

Then use the money for that trip on a weekend to go away with your hubby and post photos on any social media you have. And DO NOT buy a gift, she doesn’t deserve it because she is the reason you are not going.

ethelmertz623 said:

You’re not overreacting at all. She’s asking you to come and honor her commitment while she completely disrespects yours.

21stCenturyJanes said:

She doesn’t even care that you’re upset about it. I’m guessing this is not the first time she’s been extremely self-centered? Feel free to decline the invitation, she doesn’t treat you well

OP shared this series of updates:

Update: She said it feels disrespectful that I support her doing what she wants for her wedding, but then have an issue when it affects me. She explained it’s an intimate wedding, mostly family and a few close friends, and emphasized that no one is getting a plus-one-not even the groom’s mom-and she won’t make exceptions. She ended by saying she’s sorry I feel it’s something deeper than it truly is.

Another update: I told her that it felt like she asked for my thoughts in prior weeks about her wedding and then used them against me. I said it would’ve been better to openly discuss guest plans before sending the save-the-date. My husband genuinely thought he was invited and was looking forward to the event and the trip. I said it was really hurtful to assume I’d be okay with him being excluded.

I also called out that comparing my husband to her finances mom’s husband (who isn’t invited for negative personal reasons) wasn’t a fair or comparable situation. I’ve been honest about how this made me feel, I told her I’m done debating it, and now I’m seriously questioning whether I’ll attend at all.