AITA for asking a friend if my wedding save-the-date got lost?

AITA for asking a friend if my wedding save-the-date got lost?

I’ve been friends with a close group of women from college for over a decade. However, in the last few years since I had a child, one friend, Jenny, pushed me away: stopped inviting me to things or coming to things I invited her to, got chilly, etc. After a while of this behavior, I asked her directly about it to see if anything was wrong and she deflected. I don’t see her very often anymore and stopped inviting her to stuff.

We were close and always celebrated each others life events. She even threw my baby shower (which I was very grateful for and got her a gift). I would absolutely have come to a wedding/life event of hers, even if it was across the world.

Jenny and her fiance are getting married soon in a destination wedding. I didn’t get a save the date, which hurt my feelings a bit. Last month, I saw posts on social media about her bachelorette party (I was one of two women in our group not invited. All other bach parties in our group included all the women).

Suddenly, last night, I got an invitation to her wedding.

I am 90% sure she got some declines and I made the cut. I suppose it’s technically possible a save-the-date ended up in my spam filter, but I doubt it. I don’t feel comfortable talking with Jenny because the last time I tried, she wouldn’t talk about it.

Would I be the asshole if I asked a mutual friend if a save-the-date was lost? Would I be the asshole for talking with mutual friends about this at all (thereby putting them in the middle)? I feel weird either accepting or declining without talking with someone about how weird this feels.