AITAH for not wanting my unmotivated child to get the same opportunity my hardworking child earned?
My husband and I have two teens who are almost finished with high school. One is extremely driven, academic, and has a clear career path they’ve been working toward for years. The other has no motivation, no goals, and a bad attitude.
The driven one applied for a school‑based mentoring program with a major employer in their chosen field. They’ve been anxiously waiting to hear the outcome for months and talk about it constantly because it would mean so much to them.
My husband used to work in that field and knows the program coordinator, so he called to ask about the delay. The coordinator told him (confidentially) that our driven kid got in, they’re just finalizing approvals. Then they casually mentioned that our other kid could “just put in an application” and they’d give them a spot too because they didn’t fill all the places.
Here’s my issue: our driven kid struggles with confidence, and I know this opportunity will feel like proof that their hard work actually pays off. If the unmotivated one gets the same opportunity without effort, I worry it will cheapen the whole thing for the kid who earned it.
And honestly, I don’t think the unmotivated one deserves it. They don’t want it, haven’t worked for it, and haven’t shown any interest in getting any job, much less a competitive one. I feel like they need to experience some natural consequences instead of being handed everything.
My husband thinks we should support both kids equally and give them every possible chance, regardless of effort and interest.
AITAH for not wanting the unmotivated child to get the same opportunity the hardworking one earned?
