WIBTAH if I don’t attend to my friends baby shower because they said my pregnancy was an accident and that I didn’t deserve it ?
When I was pregnant with my first child two years ago, I had a really heavy feeling that I had to keep my pregnancy journey quite discreet because two of my friends (they are married) had difficulties with infertility.
When my fiance and I were exprecting it was obvious that they were hurt and that after each encounter with us they would cry themselves to sleep.
So whenever we were together I wouldn’t bring up the pregnancy or even all of the great new thrills I was living. I don’t have much friends so it hurt me inside a lot nat to be able to appreciate the moment as much but I didn’t wanted to hurt them just because baby was existing inside me.
But they talked to other friends of ours and said awful things such as : -“The child was an accident” (It wasn’t, I prepared my body for everything and it “just” happened on the first try.) -“They don’t deserve a child as much as us” (I literally waited my entire life just to begin my own family since mine was broken since even before my birth.) ”
I remember to cry myself to sleep several times thinking about them also because I always daydreamed about our children growing up together (whether they adopt or use other medical options) but they were just mean.
I always tried to calm my fiance down by telling him that they are hurt and that they don’t actually mean it — but it still hurt and once confronted they still didn’t actually apologized. Thing that I don’t forget.
When we introduced baby to our friend group for the first time. (It wasn’t at home) They never acknowledged it. Not even a “Hello Baby”. They just straight up acted as if it never existed. That night I cried again. The next time they brought a gift but they never actually said Sorry.
Anyway, now the couple are expecting (maybe twins — they had an insemination). They told us first. I hugged them gave them a small gift I’ve prepared for this day (baby clothes and stuff ) because I consider myself their friend and congratulated them.
Now I have this sinking feeling inside because all the things I didn’t get to do wholeheartedly because it was hurting them they’ll celebrate it publicly and loudly (They love to show themselves.) I know that it’s my fault for not celebrating as much as I should’ve but they were really hurt and it hurt me just as much.
So now I’m just thinking about not going to their baby shower when it’s going to come up. Not out of a petty move but because I’ll be extremely hurt.
I’ve learned to stand a bit more my ground so I know that I’ll tell them my reasons one way or another but I feel bad because I’m supposed to support them as a friend.
So WIBTAH if I don’t attend their baby shower because they said my pregnancy was an accident and that I didn’t deserve it?
