AITAH for getting my parents in trouble with my grandparents while making my siblings cry?

AITAH for getting my parents in trouble with my grandparents while making my siblings cry?

I (16m) usually go to stay with my grandparents for a few days before or after my actual birthday. This year they decided they wanted to be here for my actual birthday party which is typically a party with my dad’s side of the family, which is the side we live closest to. My grandparents are good at calling out shit and for the first time since my siblings (8, 6 and 5) were born I felt excited to celebrate a birthday. I knew my grandparents would cut the bullshit that happens every year.

My birthday hasn’t been for me since my siblings were born. They get gifts, they get to blow out my candles and my parents made sure my siblings took the spotlight during my birthday parties even when my siblings were infants. They were too young to blow out candles or care about gifts and they got them anyway. The sibling gift opening was always focused on more than mine.

And for those who ask my parents are both my bio parents. I’m not an affair baby or adopted. But my siblings did come after years of trying. My parents wanted more kids and started trying for more when I was 6 months old and my mom ended up needing fertility treatment to have them.

So when my grandparents came for my birthday I decided I would find some way to let them know beforehand that I don’t enjoy my birthday parties and that I feel as though they’re not even my birthday parties. I let them know that the candles and stuff didn’t matter because my siblings blow them out and that they better make sure they have nice gifts for my siblings to open.

My grandparents confronted my parents about it and my parents tried to pretend I was being a bratty teen and lied. My birthday party came and they were trying to hide the pile of gifts for my siblings. They also told me to make sure my siblings were standing next to me when I was going to blow out my candles but I told them I wasn’t even making the effort to stand this year. Then I pointed out the pile of gifts that weren’t for me to my grandparents and shit hit the fan. My grandparents said if everyone had ruined my birthdays so much I didn’t want to blow out the candles then there would be no candles and if nobody cared about the gifts I got there would be no gift opening. It turned into a fight and my parents were trying to tell my grandparents they had no right to call the shots.

My siblings asked me why everyone was fighting and I said because someone finally gave a shit about me enough to realize my birthday was for me and not them. They asked about their gifts and I said they weren’t getting to open them in front of everyone and then they asked about the candle and I said no candle. My sisters (6 and 5) started to cry and when I told my brother (8) we don’t share my birthday, because he said it to me, he started to cry too.

So then my parents were angry and so were most of my dad’s side. Then my grandparents asked where the concern was when I was pushed out of my own birthdays. That made some of dad’s side feel bad and apologize but my parents were mad at me and three weeks later they’re still mad at me for getting them into trouble and for making my siblings cry and not feeling bad or trying to make it up to them.

My parents and grandparents are still fighting every day. My grandparents said I could live with them if my parents couldn’t appreciate me but my parents said no way. My parents blamed me for that as well. AITAH?