“My girlfriend (25F) used my phone to buy an 820 euro bag without asking. I’m (27M) considering if I should end our 8-month relationship?”

“My girlfriend (25F) used my phone to buy an 820 euro bag without asking. I’m (27M) considering if I should end our 8-month relationship?”

Need to vent about this! Been dating this girl for 8 months. Last Tuesday I check my Oobit balance and 820 euros just gone. I keep usdc in my wallet and spend it through the app for daily stuff.

Pulled up transaction history, it’s a charge from some boutique in Chiado. I don’t shop there so I knew something was up. Asked my girlfriend if she knew anything about it. She got defensive immediately then admitted she used my phone to pay for a prada bag while i was showering.

Didn’t ask, didn’t mention it, just took my phone and paid. She knows my passcode cause I trusted her (clearly a mistake). When I said that’s theft, she flipped out, told me I’m being dramatic and it’s “just crypto” and I have “so much just sitting there.’
That bag is my rent for the month.

Now she’s acting like I’m the bad guy for being upset. Her argument is we talk about future together so what’s mine is hers. I said that’s not how it works without permission, maybe if we get married some day we combine finances but that happens because both people sit down and agree to it.

But where it gets absolutely hilarious is when a friend of hers said “real men buy their girlfriends bags” like… wtf, ofc im not against buying her stuff but she literally stole from me. Stealing is stealing. I dunno, but this is a massive red flag :s

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

arcxiii wrote:

I would end the relationship. This is way too soon for her to consider your money her money. She didn’t ask for it she did steal it from you. That isn’t the kind of person I would want as a partner. If you can’t trust her not to steal from you, you really can’t trust her at all.

sorry_i_guess wrote:

Not only should you end the relationship, you should tell her that if she doesn’t pay you back, you’re going to the authorities. If she says she doesn’t have the money, tell her at the very least she needs to give you back the bag.

You paid for it, you did NOT give it to her as a gift, it is legally your Prada bag and you can likely either return it or at least sell it and make back most of the money (if it’s in excellent condition, someone will be thrilled to pay slightly less than retail price).

She didn’t just steal from you, she stole over 800 euros from you and then DEFENDED it. She isn’t just a thief, she’s a shameless, unapologetic one who actually thought it was appropriate to try to make you feel bad that she stole the equivalent of a month’s rent from you. And she didn’t do it because she was desperate and ashamed, she did it because she wanted a fucking expensive fashion accessory.

She didn’t even bother to ask you if you’d get it for her as a gift…because she knew you wouldn’t (nor should you), and she knew it was inappropriate to ask. And apparently her friends are also amoral and shallow, so she’s surrounded by people who are going to encourage her to continue behaving this way.

This woman is 25 years old. Even small children know that you don’t steal. And even teenagers understand that you don’t help yourself to a boyfriend or girlfriend’s hard earned money to buy expensive things for yourself, without even discussing it. She knew exactly what she was doing.

Honestly, the only stupid thing you could do here is NOT break up with her. Whatever may have initially attracted you to her, you now know that she has no moral compass at all, and she doesn’t respect you. Also that she’s entirely untrustworthy, and she’s not even embarrassed about that. This is not someone to build a future with.

AmsterdamAssassin wrote:

“Didnt ask, didnt mention it, just took my phone and paid. She knows my passcode cause i trusted her (clearly a mistake)”

Nobody has the passcode to my phone. Why would they need it? Not sharing it doesn’t mean you don’t trust someone, it means you don’t share your private access codes. Why would you?

Cancel the transaction, make sure she reimburses you if you cannot get your money refunded (you can often send online purchases straight back for a refund). Check if that is all she paid with your account, change your access codes and kick this woman to the streets where she belongs.

tatortodd wrote:

I’ve been with my partner for 16 years and he gave me one of his credit cards to use. I use it for gas, household stuff, and groceries. If I want something over $100 I ask him first. He makes way more money than me and hates shopping, and likes my grocery shopping and picking out some clothes for him. We don’t have an agreed upon budget but seriously I am respectful and check in a lot. This is not okay.

Fun-Significance60 wrote:

Can you report the purchase still as fraud? If so, I would do that first to see if you can get your money back at least. I don’t know if that would result in having to press charges with the police, though. 820 euros is not nothing to just forget about.

She stole from you. She is a thief, and even worse, she tried to justify it by saying, “a real man would do this.” Please save yourself and your wallet from anymore strife and leave this relationship.

posterBOMBER wrote:

“MY GIRLFRIEND STOLE 820 EUROS FROM ME, SHOULD I REPORT HER TO THE POLICE BEFORE I BREAK UP WITH HER”

There, fixed your headline for you.

cassowary32 wrote:

Call the store, cancel the transaction, get your money back. Change your passwords, lock down your credit and consider pressing charges. Also, look at your purchase history. It’s unlikely she started stealing with a 820 euro purchase, there were probably other smaller purchases that she made to see if you’d notice.