AITAH for not going to my friends birthday after she switched the venue last minute to somewhere way out of my price range
My friend just turned 28. Shes been planning this dinner for weeks. Originally she picked this little ramen spot that our whole group loves. Cheap good food chill vibe everyone was down. I was actually really excited about it because I hadnt seen some of these people in a while.
Day of. Maybe four hours before were supposed to meet. She sends a message to the group chat saying shes changing the restaurant. Her new boyfriend got them into this trendy rooftop place downtown and she wants everyone to come there instead.
I looked it up. Cocktails were eighteen dollars. Smallest plates on the menu started at thirty five. This is the kind of place where they give you a tiny portion on a giant white plate and you leave hungry and broke.
Im on a strict budget right now. Im putting everything I can toward moving into my own place and Ive been really careful about not spending on stuff I dont need. I had already set aside money for the original dinner. This new place wouldve cost me three or four times what I planned.
I texted her separately. Kept it respectful. Said I was really looking forward to tonight but the new spot is way outside what I can do right now and asked if theres any chance we could stick with the original plan. She said shes only turning 28 once and that she wants this night to feel special and I should just treat myself for one evening.
Treat myself. With money I dont have. For a restaurant I didnt agree to. That she changed with four hours notice.
I told her I couldnt make it but I sent her a gift and told her I hope she has the best night. I meant it too. Im not mad at her for wanting something nice I just couldnt be the one to fund it.
Since then shes been distant. TOLD me she was really hurt I wasnt there and that I made her feel like she wasnt important enough for me to show up.
That stung because thats not what happened at all. She IS important to me. But she changed the entire plan last minute to something I couldnt afford and when I told her that she basically said figure it out. What was I supposed to do. Put it on a credit card and stress about it for the next month just to sit at a table and pretend Im having fun while doing mental math on every menu item.
AITAH?
