AITAH (F36) for breaking up with my partner (F35) because they kept unplugging my cameras behind my back?
I (F36) was dating my partner (F35) for almost a year. I have my own apartment with my two dogs.
From the day we met, we hung out every single day at my place. She loves my dogs and she can’t have pets at her place, so it was the natural thing to do to hang at my place. We would hang out from the time we were both off work until it was time to go to bed and on weekends she would sleep at my place.
She never gave me any reason not to trust her.
Up until a few months ago, I did have a roommate, but once they moved out, I placed a couple Ring cameras inside my house so I can see what my dogs are up to when I’m not home. I will usually click “Live View” and check on them at that exact moment. I rarely check back on the recorded videos unless there is something specific that happened, like one of the dogs chewing something up, or if a cute moment happened and I want to watch it back.
One of the cameras was plugged into an extension cord which left the plug for the camera to sit on the countertop in the kitchen. A month or two ago, I noticed that this camera would be unplugged sometimes. At first, I thought nothing of it and figured it must have been bumped and got disconnected that way. After it happened a few more times, I finally decided I was going to look back on the recording history and see what the heck was going on each time the camera got unplugged.
I was shocked, to say the least, when I found several videos where the last few seconds before the camera was disconnected, I saw my partner waiting until I left the room… It seemed to happen when I would take my dogs outside to go to the bathroom. My partner would go to the front door and look out to see what I am doing, then she would quickly (and nervously) walk over to where the camera was plugged in, she would be out of the frame, but the camera would freeze for a few seconds before ending. The recordings would start again after I plugged the camera back in a day or two later. I would usually notice it was unplugged on my lunch break when I would clean up the kitchen and my partner would not be at my house.
When I said “nervously”, what I mean is while she was hurrying to where the camera is plugged in, she would look back at the front door to make sure I’m not coming back inside, and she would put her finger up to her mouth, like biting her nails type of thing, that usually kinda looks like a nervous tendency.
This did not happen just once. It happened at least 4 times. And every single time, it was after I had left the room. And the videos absolutely look like she is being sneaky. And for what, I am not sure???
When I saw her next, before confronting her, I asked her if she knew why that camera kept getting unplugged. To which she replied that she didn’t know and that maybe she had bumped it causing it to disconnect. I plugged the camera in and started banging it around to see if the plug was perhaps loose in the outlet. It was not. She lied to my face.
I confronted her with the videos, and she said the reason she unplugged them is because she can “hear electricity” and that the high-pitched noise that the camera was making was driving her insane. She said she didn’t say anything to me about it because she thought I would be upset. (Which is crazy, because why would I get upset about something like that? I would not sit there and make her, or anybody be driven up a wall over some noise that is annoying them).
I asked her to leave my house that night because her answers were not making sense to me and I needed to collect myself. Well, I ended up ending the relationship because everything about it seems so sneaky and weird.
I will say that for the past two months I had my Adderall come up missing and she is the only person that comes over to my house… so it must either be her or my co-workers. (I did not accuse her of stealing my meds!)
She has since begged for me to take her back and has said that nothing happened when she turned the cameras off and that it was the noise that was bugging her. And saying that of course I can trust her. But the sneaky way she checked on me after I left the room before running to turn the cameras off is too weird for me and I don’t feel that I can trust her anymore.
Am I the asshole?
