AITAH for telling my for telling my friend childfree women aren’t her enemy?
I don’t even know how to start to this because I’m so baffled on how this situation has played out. I’m a 21 year old college student and I would consider myself childfree, I don’t have kids and don’t necessarily plan on ever having them (obviously, I’m young and my options can change, but as of now that is my stance). My friend is 22 with one kid and another on the way.
Recently, I noticed she was reposting tik toks putting down childfree women, calling them bad feminists and saying that women without kids just don’t understand how empowering that having kids is. Then she started telling me that my boyfriend and I should consider having kids now, and when I said it’s not something I want to do right now given that my boyfriend and I are still in school, and I’m not financially stable right now. She told me that there’s never a right time and a kid would make me feel whole again after the loss of my pet and that I’ll never truly know love until I have a kid.
I told her that I think the idea of using a kid to fill some void in my life seems very selfish to me, I then mentioned her reposts and told her that childfree women weren’t her enemy and that not only is putting down other women not very feminist of her, but that acting like women who are breaking against societal norms are her oppressors for critiquing a society that tells women the most important thing they can do in life is be a mother and that she should think deeper as to why some women choose to be childfree instead of acting like it’s a personal attack.
She told me that people who don’t like motherhood just hate moms and kids and that it’s not deeper than that and unfollowed me on social media. I do not think being a mom is a problem and that everyone should choose to be childfree, but I think it’s really harmful to act like women who don’t have kids just hate mothers and kids.
I didn’t want to lose our friendship and I don’t think I was mean in my response, but I don’t have kids so maybe I’m just not very sympathetic to how she feels and can’t understand her perspective. Am I the asshole for telling her my thoughts on this? Should I have just kept it to myself?
