WIBTA for refusing to let strangers stay in my apartment while I’m away?
My friends asked me something that sounded simple on paper but feels really wrong in practice. I’m a woman in my late 20s and I live alone. I’m leaving town this weekend, gone from Friday evening until late Sunday, and a couple I’m friends with texted me saying they have guests coming and their place is “too small.” They want these guests to stay at my apartment for “just 2 nights” while I’m not even there.
I don’t know these people. I’ve never met them, don’t know their full names, and when I asked who they were I got the vague “they’re chill, you’ll like them” answer like that covers it.
When I didn’t instantly agree, the tone shifted from asking to pushing. They kept saying it’s “literally just sleeping,” that the guests will be out most of the day, and that they’ll clean everything before they leave. Then it got a little insulting. “You’re not one of those people who’s weirdly territorial, right?” and “It’s not like you’ll be home, why are you making it a thing?” I tried to explain that I’m careful with my space and I don’t like the idea of strangers having access to my home when I’m out of the city.
I have personal stuff out, I have a few things that are valuable to me, and I don’t keep them locked up because it’s my own apartment. Also, being a woman living alone, I’m extra cautious about who has keys or codes to my place. Even if these guests are “friends of friends,” I’d still be giving people I don’t know access to my bed, my bathroom, my stuff, my whole life.
They want the access part handled ahead of time so it’s “smooth.” They asked if I can hand over my spare key and building fob in advance or just share my entry code. That’s what made my stomach drop. Once you share a code, you can’t really take it back mentally, and if anything goes missing or gets damaged, it’s on me.
My neighbor already complains about noise sometimes, and I can picture a group of strangers coming in late, being a little louder than they think they are, and suddenly I’m the problem tenant in the building. My friends keep repeating “it’s only 2 nights” like that makes it safe or normal.
I tried to offer alternatives. I said I could help them find a hotel or an Airbnb, or even ask around if someone else has room. They got annoyed and said I’m making it complicated and that I have “a whole apartment to myself anyway.” That comment rubbed me the wrong way. It felt like this wasn’t even just about a favor, it was about them deciding my space is available because they think I have extra.
The last message I got was basically “wow ok, didn’t know you were this uptight,” and then a “guess we’ll figure it out.” Now they’re acting distant and I’m sitting here feeling guilty and irritated at the same time.
WIBTA if I just say no, I’m not comfortable with strangers staying in my apartment while I’m gone?
