“AITA for picking my mom’s side over my wife’s for baby names?”
I (37M) have been married to my wife 34 for 6 years. We’re expecting our second child (first girl though.) My wife and I have been going back and forth on baby names but one name she really liked was my deceased sister. When I was 4, I had a sister who was a little over a year who died in a car accident that left my father disabled.
I don’t really remember much of it but I remember the hit it took on my mother and father and the years after. Also to my wife it wasn’t even about honoring my sister it was just a plus, she just really liked the name.
We were discussing it with my mother and my mother had asked her nicely please do not name her that. My wife was upset and said well I really like the name. I took my mothers side because it was traumatic for her and I would never want to put that pressure on my daughter as well.
When we got home my wife was furious and said we’re suppose to be deciding baby names not my mom and I, and how we could name her whatever we wanted it wasn’t up to anyone else.
I defended my mother still and we got into a big argument. She basically told me I should go sleep at my mom’s then, I ended up sleeping on the couch. We are still arguing a bit about it. NOTE: I didn’t bring my mother into this. We were at my mother’s house and my wife and mother were discussing the baby.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Highfalutinflimflam said:
I was ready to support the wife on this, but naming a baby after someone’s tragically dead sister without them wanting you to? That’s gross. NTA.
Mushrooms24711 said:
I was ready to read you the riot act. But yeah, NTA. But for your sake, stop talking about it as siding with your mom. YOU don’t want to name your daughter after your sister. Full stop.
BalloonShip said:
NTA, but you’re an idiot. The point isn’t really that it’s not what your mom wants. The point is that it’s not what you want.
Moose-Live said:
That’s incredibly insensitive and self-centered. You’re NTA. Your wife’s attitude is very concerning.
Aggressive_Owl5379 said:
NTA. Your wife needs to sit down and understand she genuinely can’t do that and that it’s not as nice as she thinks it is. Not even the thought is okay of she knows how traumatic it is for your family. She can pick a different name, I’d hate to be told that I was named after a dead relative that died horribly.
North-Perspective376 said:
NTA, this is a really reasonable ask from your mom. If you wanted to honor your sister that would be something different, but it doesn’t sound like that’s what you want. Names should be a two yes-one no situation, and you don’t want that name.
Oatz3 said:
NTA. But you need to frame this as YOUR decision not your mom’s. If you want the name, it’s a yes. If you don’t, it’s a no. Baby names are always 1 no for a no.
