“A customer I befriended 3 years ago asked me if I was OK tonight.”
For context, I am a guy in my 30s, working as a food server for one of my jobs. I see this guy maybe 3-4 times a year. We always chat it up, he seems like good people. He was in with his girlfriend and another guy. I saw them when I first arrived as I was dropping off another servers food to their table.
Said hello to everyone, told him it’s always good to see him, and let them know to grab me if they need anything. Ended up grabbing an empty appetizer dish off their table as I was walking by.
A few minutes later, him and his girlfriend, the girlfriend who I believe I only met 1-2 times, called me over in like a soft and concerned tone, and he said “ hey man, are you okay? I sense like a different vibe from you today, just making sure all is good?” I told him I had a long day, which was true, was working at 8am at my other job and was busy all day.
He then asked about my BJJ training if that maybe had me off and I told him I was good and he asked for my business card for my other job and we said we would chat. I walked away into the back of house and then it kind of hit me. He was right. I am OK and I will always be OK but I have been off.
Over this job, been doing it for years and I have been feeling a burnout I’ve never felt before. Not a huge fan of some things going on in the US which is where i live and feel I’m letting it get to me in a way i never have. Stressing money even though i got it but always fear going broke, that’s stuck with me since a teen.
I got a little emotional and I don’t even think it was because of how I been feeling on a daily basis…I think it hit me that this guy, who I see 3-4 times a year, and his girlfriend, seemed to really care about how I was doing. I have like 2-3 solid friends since middle school and we do always talk, but having this dude check on me felt rare.
I know I always hear about it “check on your bros” but how often do bros really check on each other? This messed me up tonight. The bro checking on this bro got to me and made me question myself “how am I doing?” I am good and will bounce back. I have dealt with a lot crazier and worse crap in my life. That’s all.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
talkstorivers wrote:
This is so sweet. Everyone deserves to be seen, but it feels so rare sometimes. Take care of yourself. Hope you have a better day tomorrow.
OP responded:
Thank you, have a great one as well.
Notoneforlies wrote:
Please become best friends and live together in a mojo dojo casa house.
dramatic_view5340 wrote:
I’m a huge believer in men learning to check in on each other and to learn about men’s mental health struggles and statistics. When teaching my middle school aged son about what kind of friend he would like to be, we always talk about making sure check in if we feel like something is off because we never really know what’s going on in other people’s lives.
OP responded:
It is very important to check on your bros. It’s talked about, but actions do speak louder than words.
Not long after posting, OP shared an update:
UPDATE: Bro called me this AM and said he actually had to go to the bathroom at the restaurant because he got a lil emotional seeing me like and didn’t want me to notice. He works as a very successful custom home builder and I am a realtor so our teams are going to meet this week and discuss how we can all make some more $$ together.
I think we are just two dudes with empathy and decent intuition. I’ve told my girlfriend who I live with this who is a LCSW and she is all for the support. Thanks you all for the support as well. I also reached out to my 3 best bros this AM too. Everyone go reach out to your bros!!
Here’s what people had to say to OP’s update:
dharmoniedeux wrote:
I’m really glad you got a chance to check in with yourself. If he reaches out, I hope you feel ok telling him you appreciated it. I bet you remember this forever, and I hope someday you have a chance to pay it forward to another bro who really needs someone to notice and care about how they’re doing. Hope things bounce back soon!
OP responded:
Oh, I definitely told him how much I appreciate him. Thank you!
opening_jeweler_491 wrote:
I agree with him the US currently is just. A disaster of epic portions. Every day feels like a month, and every week feels like a year. You lose confidence that people are still GOOD. Still KIND. But this guy…just reading your post had given me hope that humanity still exists.
That empathy hasn’t been lost. That kindness is still strong. Thank you for sharing this, truly. I hope you take his care of yourself and listen to the burnout. It wreaks havoc on your health- mentally, physically and emotionally. I’m not sure if a employment change is enough or a change in jobs so together, but I hope the answer comes quickly, and you have more peace ❤️
OP responded:
It was refreshing for sure.
