AITA bc I don’t let my BFs daughter sleep in bed with us?
Am I (26F) the asshole because I don’t want my (26M) boyfriend’s daughter to sleep in the bed with us. We usually have her every other weekend and she is 8 years old. We spent hundreds of dollars to put together a room her in our 2 bedroom town home. Before this, the room was just make spare makeup and computer room but I moved all my stuff out of there so we would be able to start keeping her.
So it’s been a good 6 months that we have been keeping her. She would ask to sleep in our room and sometimes we would let her. We only have queen size bed but when she would sleep with us I would end up with no blanket getting pushed off the bed. For the most part we would make her sleep in her own room. Flash forward to now, I just had a baby a month and a half ago and this is our first time keeping her since having our baby. She had asked if she could sleep in our bed and like I usually say I said no. My boyfriend however told her yes, to which I said she couldn’t because of the baby.
I know I can’t put up an argument with my boyfriend because of how he is and what he says goes. I make up in my mind I will take the baby and sleep downstairs as we have a crib set up down there and I’ll stay with him on the couch. (we didn’t put the crib in her room because how is an 8 y/o supposed to sleep with a baby in their room) My boyfriend however gets extremely upset with me because I don’t want to sleep in the room with her. Keep in mind i’m not currently going to sleep, it’s already 12am and she was supposed to be sleeping hours ago, and i’m up and down with a newborn all through out the night.
He comes downstairs takes the baby from me and says the baby is sleeping where he always sleeps and tells me “you stay down here since you want to be alone so bad”. Then texts me “Don’t you ever make my daughter feel out of place and not wanted again” and “How do you think she feels you won’t even sleep in the same room as her”. Of course i’m not trying to make her feel bad in any type of way I just don’t think she needs to be in our room when we’re not going to sleep and I have to take care of a baby.
I don’t think it’s wrong to have boundaries and I was trying to be responsible knowing she wouldn’t go to sleep right away being in there when it was already 3 hours past when she should go to sleep, and also knowing she will get woken up through out the night. It’s about her sleep and my own comfort knowing I can’t move stay up and do things like I normally would with her in there. Am treating his daughter poorly because I feel this way?
