I just feel so numb. It’s not like he doesn’t do anything for me. I got pregnant in high school and our daughter and I got kicked out basically the day I turned 18, I’ve been living with him ever since. I’m 21 not and our daughter is in kindergarten, and I know he loves us. He’s paying for me to get my bachelors and takes care of all of the bills.I work, kind of odd jobs, but I do have some money of my own… I usually always spend it on my daughter. I always try to make Christmas magical for her and even when we were broke I scrimped and saved and even put her name in for a charity tree this year because my car broke down so money hasn’t just been tight. It’s nonexistent.And I always get him something. Maybe it’s small but he’s always had something. Idk the last time I got a Christmas present. His brother got me something last year but we had to cut him out of our lives.Sorry I’m rambling but last night I mentioned he had a package and he got excited, he said he saw something online and had to get it for one of our friends. She likes that old show Fraser and it’s a cookbook from the show and really thoughtful and i feel like I’m spiraling. I told him I wasn’t feeling well and cried myself to sleep on the couch.I love my daughter and I love him in a way but I hate my life. I was doing therapy at school but they jacked up the prices and I can’t afford it anymore. I’ve looked around endlessly and can’t find anything in our meager budget. And I can’t leave him. I can’t be away from my daughter and I’d have nowhere to go. My parents haven’t spoken to me, even when I call them begging and crying just to talk, in years.Sometimes my mom will call me on my birthday or Christmas but she didn’t this year so I doubt she will next week. He’s not abusive and he’s not cruel he’s just not thoughtful and I guess doesn’t care about me enough to get me anything. I think he knew I was hurt cuz he started talking about taking our daughter to this Christmas thing in our city that he knows I want to go to.I feel so selfish, I know I should be more grateful but even just a little candle or a picture frame would mean the world to me. I know I won’t get it. But she’ll get a cookbook.
This is what people had to say to OP:
AdOpposite3505 said:
You are right to feel hurt. Thats messed up of him. Could you directly ask him why he has bought her a present when he hasnt bought you one ever? Idk the friendship dynamic with this woman but if I were a friend to a couple and just the male bought me a gift, id feel a little awkward. Unless it was framed as a gift from you both I guess.
My life experiences would also make me a little suspicious if this man typically doesn’t give gifts but he just happened to find the perfect gift for a friend..
Time-Town6745 said:
You have every right to be upset in my opinion. One because he gave more thought and energy into buying a gift for another women when he doesn’t show the same energy towards you. Thats not OK. You need to have a discussion with him. And secondly if moneybis so tight you can’t afford presents for your daughter thats where the money should of went.
Once his family is taken care of then he can worry about others. At least that’s how me and my husband always did things. I’m really sorry you are having a hard time. Is there any local services that can help you? Any friends? I wouldn’t stay with someone just because you feel like you have no other choice.
And Wonderful_Site_1056 said:
I know it’s difficult to bring up issues sometimes but this is something that you need to communicate to your husband. It’s as simple as saying, “I saw that you bought xyz a Christmas present but I have never received a present from you. Can you explain to me the reasoning for that? I am feeling very hurt that xyz has a Christmas present from my husband and I do not.”
Three weeks later, OP shared this update:
Someone asked for an update and I have a happy one! I didn’t want to bring anything up to my husband and ruin Christmas. Christmas morning we obviously got up with our daughter and she loved everything she got, so that was nice, and then my husband handed her a box and I was confused since she had already opened all of her gifts.
He had her bring it over to me and I couldn’t stop crying. Ok I know a lot of people dislike her but Ariana Grande is my favorite artist, her last album is so good and I wanted to see her so bad, but the tour is so limited and expensive and basically no tickets were available in our city.
Anyways our friends mom has connections and when my husband got a holiday bonus he asked her if she’d be able to help. She got us amazing tickets and is going to watch our daughter that night! I couldn’t stop crying, I never thought in a million years I’d be able to go to see her and he set up everything!
I felt bad because all I had gotten him was a new water bottle and jeans but he said he didn’t want anything other than his girls to be happy. And when he thought of my gift he kind of got into the gift giving spirit and wanted to get our friend something too. I’m so happy!
