“AITA for not allowing my cousin to wear my wedding dress?”

“AITA for not allowing my cousin to wear my wedding dress?”

First off I want to start by saying that me and said cousin are not close! We used to be but we aren’t really now and haven’t been for years. My mum however is incredibly close with her and treats her like her own daughter.

I want to start this off by saying I got married last year in September. I got married on holiday and we told no one until after we got married only my parents attended. We had pink, gold and purple and cream/white as our color. I had a tiara with my hair half up half down curled.

We had our reception when we got back etc and had bridesmaids and groomsmen as of which she was not a part of the bridal party. We had a lovely cake, decor (all color themed as stated above), I changed dress half way through and all groomsmen had grey suit with pink ties to tie in with the theme.

My cousin got engaged in December and has rushed through her wedding to June due to family members being ill etc. I’ve been really supportive making sure if she needs anything I’m here and trying to help family to make it special.

Now when she spoke to me a few weeks ago she’s arranged most of it. She’s doing the exact same colors down to the same color suits for the groom etc. She’s also doing her hair the same I had it but with a veil instead of a tiara. I don’t have an issue with it as it’s fairly popular or maybe I just sparked her imagination or something lol.

Now she’s using all of the same vendors for cake, decor etc (here is where I thought like ok cool she really liked it). She’s said she was getting a dress from Shein or a certain dress shop.

My mum is thoroughly excited for her as of which I am too. We had a conversation where I joked and said I must have inspired her; my mum laughed and said she’s get her dress from SHEIN or ____. I said okay sounds nice and she mentioned to me “Do I think she would fit in my dress?”

I of course said no as we are completely different body types and it’s fitted to me. The conversation between me and my mum took a turn by her saying that she deserves to have a really nice wedding dress which I agreed to and was then told “can’t she just ‘borrow’ mine.”

I’ll be honest, I flipped out and said No she cannot use mine. It’s my dress bought for me by my grandparents who are no longer with us and it would have to be altered and wouldn’t be the same after she had it fitted to her. I was then told can’t i just be happy for her. As it turns out my cousin had mentioned to my mum that she liked my dress and that’s where this has come from.

Im not trying to be mean or anything but we are the only 2 girl grandchildren and I have always fought to be different than her as I’m younger; “following in her footsteps” used to be my most hated phrase so I became different to not hear it as much. She’s using all the same stuff that I did other than having her wedding in the UK and now they’re asking for my dress too! So AITA?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Gattina1 said:

NTA. I would say to your mom, “How about supporting my decision for a change? I said no, and I don’t want to hear another word about it.”

paisley_life said:

NTA. Why do people assume other people’s possessions are theirs to lend/give?

stphn323 said:

Nta. Please hide the dress.

softfujoshi said:

NTA. But I find it bizarre to copy every detail of a family member wedding. Ask one of your friends to store the dress until after the wedding. Has your mom ever tried to make you and her act like twins?

Total_Poet_5033 said:

NTA. The rest of the story isn’t even super relevant to the question. It’s your property, you don’t have to give a reason for saying no. Your mom was wrong to even ask in the first place knowing how sentimental it is to you.