“AITA for canceling my sister’s engagement dinner?”
I have a younger sibling and it seems like I am always helping her. In college I would help her with essays. I would listen to her problems, if she got stuck somewhere I would go and pick her up. She is 24 now and it is got pretty clear that she doesn’t reciprocate helping out. Or does any favors for family.
My brother and I have both noticed it. I had a conversation with her about it and she said she would do better. Recently she asked if I could use my house to her engagement dinner and I agreed. It was a big favor in my opinion and I have been helping plan it.
My sister lives very close to my kids daycare. I left work and on the way home there was a huge crash on the highway. I wasn’t moving at all (it took me 4 hours to get to home). My husband was also stuck in it. The daycare called asking where I was and I told them I am trying to get there.
They bill an extra 100 ever 30 mins you are late. I called my sister and asked her to pick up the kids and just hold on to them for a few hours until I can grab them. She told me no and that she wanted to relax tonight.
I told her I really need her to do this favor because I was stuck and it didn’t seem like I would be moving anytime soon. I told her I will Venmo her the money for the daycare but to please pick them up. She told me no again and hung up.
I ended up calling my MIL, who is an hour away and she was able to pick the kids up and say at our place until we got back around 9. I was in traffic for 4 hours. Tbh I have been pissed since that happened last Thursday. I have helped her over and over again and she could do me a simple favor when she is literally 10 mins away from the daycare because she wanted to relax…
I talked it over and my husband and I both agreed we were done helping her. I sent her a text that said, family is suppose to help each other and it has became clear that she only ever wants help and is not willing to help. I told her I will not being hosting her engagement party and will not do her any favors anymore.
She called and we got into a huge argument where I called her selfish and she called me petty. I want an outsiders opinion because I am pissed about this whole thing.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
RedactsAttract said:
There was a meme floating around this week which said “relationships are not transactional. But they are reciprocal. Remember that the next time you want to tell somebody you don’t owe them crap.” Got me thinking on it all week.
True_Carry_3153 said:
She doesn’t deserve a dinner. Tell her you need to relax that night!
Quick-Possession-245 said:
You just taught your sister a valuable lesson. She is perfectly entitled to decide that relaxing is more important than helping you out. But there are consequences for actions. She is getting consequences. NTA.
LeftWondering8910 said:
You have a wonderful MIL. I hope you appreciate her! Sis not so much. NTA.
Paevatar said:
NTA. You should not host her engagement party, since she refused to pick up your kids in an emergency. She is entitled and selfish, a taker but not a giver.
Ok_Stable7501 said:
My husband has a sibling like this. We call her One Way Olivia. You have to put your foot down or it never ends. NTA.
SavingsRhubarb8746 said:
NTA. You were stuck in traffic, she was close by – and she refused to help you out for a couple of hours because she wanted to relax? She doesn’t deserve any favors from you in the future, and that includes a free location for her party.
