AITA for cutting my mother off after insinuating I want to take food out of my siblings’ mouths?
I (21f) have a (2m) son who turns 2 in 9 days. I currently had to move to a different city due to my past city no longer being safe. I have been struggling financially as it’s been surprisingly difficult to find a job in my city.
I do get some sort of income from child support. My dad owed back pay in child support, and it’s been being paid to my mother ($192 every 2 weeks). I have one full blood brother who shares the same dad as me. So we divide the $192 amongst the 3 of us. $50 for me, $50 for my brother and $92 for my mother.
I didn’t have a problem with this and I still don’t have a problem with this. My son’s God mom and I planned on taking my son to Dave and Busters for his birthday seeing as it’s the cheapest option available for me. My son’s God mom stated she will help me with buying his outfit so I don’t have to worry about his outfit. But I want to make sure he and I will be able to actually have fun at Dave and Busters.
I also have to do our hair and I have no hair products for either of us. I was going to take the $50 and get him cupcakes, some hair products and a present or two for him for his birthday. This is where I may be the AH. I asked my mother and brother if I could get more than the $50 so I could do my own hair and get me a shirt and jacket to match my son. My mother assumed I was asking for her whole portion and told me no she needed it. I did admit I got a little upset so I asked her “you can’t spare $10 out of your $92?” She got upset and told me to take the whole child support and that she’ll just have to figure it out like she always does. I replied back that I wasn’t talking about the whole thing but whatever that works too and thank you.
I regret allowing my emotions to get the best of me because I really wasn’t going to take the whole amount I’m just tired of her making it seem like I’m being unreasonable when I ask for an extra $5 every now and then. My brother tried to step in and said I could have his whole $50 but again I don’t want nor need the whole thing I’m literally just asking for $10 extra dollars. My mother starts going on a rant saying I was so eager to take food out of my siblings mouths and she’s been doing this by herself without the help of my father and I can have the whole $192 and that she’ll figure it out.
I get so upset because every time her and I get into it she brings my dad up. I know he wasn’t around and I empathize with her on that because my child’s father isn’t around but I would never throw that in my son’s face as a guilt tactic. So I just uninvited her completely from the birthday party because I just don’t think it would be a peaceful environment with her around and her “apology” is just not speaking to me until I’m ready to cave in and just apologize for everything that was said between the both of us.
Now she’s saying I can’t get ANY of the child support and I told her that she would actually be taking away from my child and if that’s the choice she wants then she doesn’t need to be around AT ALL. I feel bad and I wish the conversation didn’t go how it went but I feel like I’m the AH because maybe what I’m asking for IS selfish? I just want to get unbiased opinions and maybe advice on how to go about this. I canceled the birthday party because I won’t be able to afford to pay for my son to do anything and I don’t want to have his God mom pay for everything.
