I’ll start at the very beginning, ever since I was a child I’ve had a hard time making friends. My mom would have her friend’s kids over to hangout with us starting when I was around 2, but whenever my mom set up play dates for us, my sister would not allow me to play with them.

She has a very explosive personality, and I would get screamed at or hit by her if I tried. This stayed the same throughout childhood, one time I brought my best friend over in kindergarten and next thing I knew she was locked in the bathroom with my sister and they were doing each other’s makeup without me. Neither of them would let me play with them.

My parents never intervened because let me emphasize my sister has an extremely explosive personality.

My last best friend whom I met in 7th grade we will call Nutmeg, my sister we can call May.

I met Nutmeg at school, and we started going on bike rides around the neighborhood together. She lived a few houses down from me so we hung out almost everyday after school. Our friendship was on and off through 7th and 8th grade, but we had a few months of strong friendship towards the end of 8th grade. My grandparents offered to take up on a road trip across the US together, it sounded fun so we agreed, but they also wanted to bring May. We went on the trip and low and behold, once we got to the end of the trip they were hanging out without me. They’d leave the room together without even telling me and I laid in bed all day for the last few days of the trip, because I wasn’t allowed to leave the room alone.

A few days after we got back from the trip, I checked Nutmegs snap and she was with May. They went to another state together, and Nutmeg had also brought another friend with too. To be honest I was heartbroken and I cried really hard for about half an hour.

Another instance we all had a garage sale together, and when we were done for the day, they both got in my sister’s car and drove off without saying a word to me.

Those instances were in 8th but now let’s talk about last night. Right now im 16F, my sister 19F, and my new friend 16F. We’ll call my new friend Olivia. (Also more context my sister is in college, last night she came to visit and she’s staying for the weekend.)

I’ve been friends with Olivia for a little over a year now. We met at school last year, and we’re still friends now even though I’ve switched schools. We usually hangout 1-3 times a week, and if May is in town she’ll usually come with on 1 of the outings.

Last night I heard May talking to someone downstairs in her bedroom and for a split second I thought it could be Olivia, but I brushed it off because I thought that couldn’t be. I thought it would be strange for my best friend to come in my home and hangout with my sister without me. I mean she didn’t even come to my room to say hi to me, or text me she was coming over to see May.

I sent my boyfriend to the kitchen to grab me a glass of water and when he comes back he asks me if I knew Olivia was here. I froze up and told him no, and he said she was downstairs hanging out with May right now. I checked my phone and she hadn’t texted me telling me was coming over, May also didn’t text me telling me my friend was coming over.

So my question is am I an asshole for not wanting my friends to hangout with my sister behind my back? I haven’t confronted either of them yet because I don’t want to be controlling. I know they both have free will and they can hangout with each-other if they want. But it really hurts me when all my friends eventually start hanging out with my sister without me. To be honest I think there’s something wrong with me because everyone is choosing her over me. She must be more social.

Also one more piece of information to add, my sister is probably the biggest snitch on the planet. She tells anything I tell her straight to my mom, which is another reason I don’t want my friends to hangout with her. It’s impossible to have a support system if I have to worry about my friends telling things to my sister.

EDIT*** I have talked to both of them about this before! I actually talked to Olivia about it before it started to happen, I told her about my past friend nutmeg and how she started to hangout with my sister without me. I’ve told both of them it hurts my feelings.